Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Vinny, the scammer seagull who almost tricked everyone (no, he didn’t) into thinking he was a majestic rare jewel of a bird from a far away exotic land!

2019 is technically the year of the pig, but I say technically, because it’s obviously the year of the seagull! One seagull is currently a Hot Slut of the Month finalist thanks to their impeccable and shameless thieving skills. And now that seagull’s British cousin is showing that he’s also a masterful criminal!

The greatest-named hospital in the world, Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Haddenham, Buckinghamshire, England, got a call last week from someone who found a totally natural ginger bird on the side of the highway. “Bird” is also British slang for THOT, so when Tiggywinkles heard about a down-and-out ginger bird, they probably said, “Yes, we can treat road kill messes, but we sadly can’t treat Lindsay Lohan.”

But when the Look For Less version of Billy Porter’s Met Gala look was brought in, the vets smelled something fishy, or more specifically, something turmeric-y. They discovered that the seagull had dyed himself with turmeric or curry in hopes that they’d think he was some rare and exotic bird and sell him off to a zoo for hundreds of thousands of dollars, at which point, he’d secretly snatch the check and cash it before flying off to meet his lobster roll-stealing cousin at their criminal lair. Yes, that’s what I’m getting from Tiggywinkles’ Facebook post about this scammer bird:

This bright-orange herring gull was rescued by kind members of the public who spotted him at the side of the A41. When they called to say they had picked up an orange bird, we had no idea what to expect – and would never have guessed at this!

He had somehow gotten himself covered in curry or turmeric! It was all over his feathers, preventing him from flying properly. We have no idea how he got into this predicament but thankfully, apart from the vibrant colour and pungent smell, he was healthy.

Our veterinary team bravely bathed the gull (now named Vinny after a Vindaloo curry) to clean off his feathers. He managed to cover them in curry water, but eventually did let us scrub him clean.

Tiggywinkles says they will release Vinny back into the wild very, very soon. Well, I hope that when he gets released, he dips himself into turmeric again, and flies on over to Hollywood to scam them into casting him in the new He-Man movie.

Because there’s only one thing that can save that shit show and it’s Vinny as The Sorceress!

Pic: Facebook

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