Open Post: Hosted By Jeremy Renner’s Dreams Of Rock Stardom Coming True

July 1, 2019 / Posted by:

I can’t believe all this fussin’ and cussin’ over Taylor Swift’s masters is going on right now when there’s an entire catalog of Jeremy Renner certified bangers right there for the taking. Everybody’s (I’m not sure exactly how many Avengers there are but I think a conservative estimate would be 27? 28? I’m going to go with 27) 25th favorite Avenger has been quietly laying down alt rock tracks for years, right under our noses. But Jeremey’s not going to be ignored any longer. He’s taken the promotion of his musical endeavors into his own hands and posted a teaser for his dubiously titled new single, Heaven Aint’ Got No Name, on social media.

If you’re wondering why he skipped running it by his publicist, agent, manager, friends, family, co-workers, focus groups, or any living person with working ears first, you are not alone.

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Coming soon…

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Despite that scatting you heard, I think we have to assume Jeremy is being 100% sincere and earnest with this endeavor. Otherwise, why would Mark Wahlberg comment “sunglasses emoji, fire emoji” when we know for a fact that Marky Mark has zero sense of irony and very poor taste. And despite what you heard in that clip, Jeremy’s not a bad singer. You can tell by the way he screws his face up when he’s really getting down, and also by all that expensive studio equipment. And Marky Mark doesn’t just lend you the entire Entourage esthetic for your single’s artwork unless you’ve earned it.

According to IndieWire, if you’ve seen his movie North Country co-starring Charlize Theron, you’ve already been treated to the Jeremy’s sultry crooning on I Drink Alone which was featured on the soundtrack.

Renner recorded the song “I Drink Alone” for the soundtrack to the Charlize Theron-starring drama “North Country” and had tracks featured on the soundtracks for films such as “Love Comes to the Executioner” and “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” Renner lent his vocals to Sam Feldt’s 2018 single “Heaven (Don’t Have a Name),” which Renner put a rock spin on for his new single. The actor also released a cover of “The House of the Rising Sun.”

Brace yourselves because Hawkeye’s using your ear-holes for target practice and he’s about to unleash his entire quiver.

Sounds to me like Jeremy is on a roll. Maybe if we’re lucky his pal Lady Gaga will make all of our dreams come true by directing and starring in a gender reversed A Star Is Born and Jeremy will cut a cover of Shallow that will make us all forget we ever even heard the original in the first place.


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