I guess because that Mark Consuelos/Kelly Ripa story about their teenage daughter Lola walking in on them having sex was such a ratings-boost and headline-maker that Dean McDermott just could not resist getting in on the action. During the most recent episode of his podcast, 52-year-old Dean revealed that one time his son Jack walked in on him and 46-year-old Tori Spelling fucking. I hope that Jack has a very good guide dog since I’m guessing he’s 100% blind now. Hell, we’re all 100% blind from even picturing these two fuck, so pull up your voice reader app!
Dean’s podcast is called Daddy Issues which I would also have if my father left me nothing in the will and my mother didn’t give a fuck about me, but we’re not talking about Tori Spelling right now. On his podcast, which he co-hosts with Adam Hunter and Nicky Paris, he told his Tori fuck story.
So he and Tori were doing it… you know what, I’m just gonna let him explain it to you, because I’m not doing that to myself, but know that Jack is his son with his ex-wife whose now 20–so this was many years go. via People
“He couldn’t sleep one night and—we were making a lot of noise—and … I just happened to be looking that way, towards the door… I saw the doorknob turn—I didn’t hear it, I saw it turn—and I was like, ‘Oh, shit,’ and then a crack of light… I jumped off and sat on the edge of the bed… He said, ‘Dad is everything okay?’ and I said, ‘Yeah, I just got a migraine.’“
Now I have a migraine. Why were you making a lot of noise? Oh god, of course Tori Spelling is a screamer. Oh god, I’m gonna throw up. And he continued:
“We go every day… It never stops… my wife is so fucking sexy… She’s sexy as hell. I look at her, and she just oozes sexuality.”
Tori oozes something, all right… Desperation mostly, but whatever. Now I’m picturing Tori Spelling bringing home that unicorn mask for sexual role play. Why is it that these celebrities are first scarring their children with their sex and then do it again to us? I wasn’t birthed by you–I don’t deserve this.