Cardi B Thinks Her Daughter Will Keep Her Out Of Jail

June 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Cardi B is very famous, and usually that comes with the kind of hubris that assumes you won’t be going to jail, no matter how grand the jury is that recently indicted you on fourteen charges. But Cardi has another ace up her sleeve that she thinks will keep her out of jail. And that’s her almost one-year-old daughter Kulture Kiari.

Cardi’s 2018 strip club beat-down trial has gone to a Queens grand jury, where they indicted her on fourteen charges including two counts of felony attempted assault with intent to cause serious physical injury, misdemeanor reckless endangerment, assault, criminal solicitation, conspiracy and harassment. But Page Six says that Cardi isn’t worried about all that “reckless this” and “criminal solicitation that,” and she recently let an audience know as much. During a pre-BET Awards concert on Saturday night, Cardi addressed the situation with those fourteen charges from the previous day, saying:

“Fuck you mean? I ain’t going to jail, I got a daughter!”

Cardi and Offset’s daughter Kulture will turn one next month. And apparently Cardi thinks that having a toddler is enough to keep her from going to jail. Or maybe Cardi just means that she’s got a good lawyer who will argue that there’s a little girl at home who needs her mommy. And even though her mommy allegedly arranged for two strip club bartenders to get beaten as retribution for cheating with daddy, that mommy needs to be at home queuing up new episodes of Word Party.

But someone should probably tell Cardi that just because you’re a woman with a kid doesn’t mean you won’t end up in jail. A better plan of action would be to get into specifics about why you need to stay with your daughter. Like explaining to the judge that not only will her daughter suffer if she’s not there, but the entire baby diamond industry. You think her daddy Offset will be able to pick up the slack? I doubt it. He’ll go into the jeweler, forget who he’s buying for, and leave with $200,000 worth of diamonds for some stripper he thought was pretty.

Pic: Instagram

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