Hailey Baldwin has a very important job this week, and that’s to watch Million Dollar Baby, Rocky, and any number of other underdog fight movies, and learn how to say the words, “Don’t do it, you’ll never win!” while pounding her fists into his chest. Because it sounds like Justin Bieber really wants to fight Tom Cruise.
Two weeks ago, Justin challenged Tom Cruise to a UFC fight on Twitter, which sounded like a joke. Justin later confirmed all our suspicions by claiming it was just a joke, and he had no intention of throwing fists at a man who was starring in Interview With the Vampire when he was still in Huggies. According to TMZ, the first lie was the truth, and Justin’s truth was actually a lie. Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise in the Octagon. A secret phone call took place last Friday involving Justin’s manager Scooter Braun, co-CEO of William Morris Endeavor Ari Emanuel, and President of UFC Dana White.
Ari allegedly claimed it would be an “epic fight” that needed to happen, with Dana claiming he would be 100% on board. Dana had previously told TMZ that it would be the “easiest fight to promote” in his entire career, and that he’d be an idiot not to make the fight happen. Scooter Braun reportedly assured both Ari and Dana that Justin would absolutely fight Tom Cruise if such a fight were organized.
The only piece missing is Tom Cruise himself. Tom is no stranger to shameless publicity stunts, but even he seems like he’s got more sense than to board this potential train wreck. And yet, according to TMZ, Ari allegedly claimed in the phone meeting that he believes Tom would agree to fight Justin Bieber. Apparently the apocalypse won’t be ushered in by four horses, but by two desperate dummies smacking the shit out of each other on pay-per-view.
What Justin hasn’t taken into consideration is that Tom Cruise is a very busy man and he takes his roles very seriously. Justin needs to prove he’s not going to waste Tom’s time with this fight. Tom will probably spend at least an hour beforehand psyching himself up by looking in the mirror and threatening, “Mission impossible? No, mission very possible, you little bitch.” And it would suck if after all that, a bratty Justin Bieber ducks on the first swing, and fakes a cramp due that he blames on eating too many Go-Gurts at lunch.