People Are Eating Tubs Of “Mayonnaise” At Sporting Events For Twitter Fame

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

People are bringing large tubs of “mayonnaise” to sporting events and eating what they want you to think is mayonnaise out of said tub. Presumably as a prank or to get attention on social media. And honestly, I don’t know much about sports but it feels disrespectful to mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is meant to be enjoyed in moderation and not eaten tubs at a time. And if you’re going to eat straight mayonnaise from a tub, do it where no one can see you, like under your bed or in an alley late at night. Not at a public baseball game!

Though people are speculating that it’s not actually mayonnaise but white pudding, and that this gag has been going for a while. Too long, really. The Takeout reports:

Vice’s Munchies points to several online forums and videos dating back to 2012 that recommend perpetrating this “prank” by replacing the tub’s mayonnaise with vanilla pudding. This is nothing new, Munchies argues, so please knock it off with the dumb gag.

Who knows, though, maybe these mayo freaks are into mayo in a way that we just don’t understand. I can’t imagine eating that much mayo and not going into to some sort of coma, but maybe they are stronger than me. I do worry that someone will pass away from this foolery and his obit would read something like, “He died doing what he loved, eating mayonnaise for some attention on Twitter. Here’s hoping there are lots of egg salad sandwhichs in heaven.”

Also, the mystery of whether or not it’s actually mayonnaise has some people wondering if anything is sacred anymore.

Except…what if it’s really mayo? We can’t know for sure whether it’s pudding or Hellman’s in those massive tubs. I have yet to interview one of the eaters, so the mayo/pudding question remains a sort of nauseating Schrodinger’s cat. If the internet can express skepticism that these spectators are consuming roughly a pint of mayonnaise, allow us to express skepticism at that skepticism.

I’ve obviously spent a lot more time trying figure out a lot less, but maybe this is just supposed to be one of God’s unanswered questions.

I honestly don’t know my true feelings on people doing this. Part of me feels like I should be impressed by someone eating a whole tub of mayonnaise (like I am with hot dog eating champs) but in another, more real way, it just feels gross and sad. Maybe it’s the context, like if there was a mayo eating championship. Then hell yeah! Because then they are doing it for the right reason; to be a champion of mayonnaise eating.

Truth be told, the world doesn’t need mayonnaise eating influencers, we need mayonnaise eating champions!!

Pic: Twitter

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