In “Terrifying Threats To Human Life” News, O.J. Simpson Joined Twitter And He’s Tweeting About “Getting Even”
Alleged (*eye-roll*) murderer of two and narcissistic owner of the biggest balls in history, O.J. Simpson, has a Twitter account now. One of his first tweets is a video in which says he’s on Twitter because he’s “got a little getting even to do.” *scream* The unfortunates he’s referring to better beef up their security.
In his first video, a healthy-looking and jovial O.J., 71, says we’ll be able to learn all of his “thoughts and opinions on just about everything” if we follow him. It’s doubtful he’ll get into his thoughts and opinions on how to beat a double murder rap but hey, double jeopardy gives him a lot of leeway here.
“Hey Twitter world, this is yours truly,” says Simpson in the video post which is pinned to the top of his profile page. “Coming soon to Twitter you’ll get to read all my thoughts and opinions on just about everything. Now, there’s a lot of fake O.J. accounts out there, so this one @TheRealOJ32, is the only official one. So, it should be a lot of fun — I’ve got a little getting even to do.”
Coming Soon!!! pic.twitter.com/R1tXOuuLgO
— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) June 15, 2019
That last bit made me want to get one of those ADT Security signs for my lawn. And I don’t even have a lawn!
Parolee O.J. now lives in Las Vegas after serving nine years for kidnapping and armed robbery. In his most recent tweet, he gets into how people write and post about how he’s probably the guy who brutally murdered his ex-wife and her friend and he doesn’t get to challenge any of it. But now he can!
“Hello Twitter world,” says Simpson at the top of the video. “You know, for years people have been able to say whatever they wanted to say about me, with no accountability,” he explains. “But now I can challenge a lot of that BS and set the record straight. More importantly, I’m able to talk about everything, especially sports and fantasy football and even politics.”
Simpson closed the video message with, “But for now, let me just say, to my fellow fathers out there, happy fathers day. God bless.”
“God bless the people who’ve pissed me off because I have no qualms about going to their houses…wait, no edit that shit out.” – what O.J. probably said in the first take of that video.
Thanks to all my new followers. Love learning how to use Twitter. pic.twitter.com/J4JnN59yKl
— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) June 16, 2019
Follow O.J. now and you can get in on the ground floor of his triumphant comeback. Trump will probably assign him to a cabinet position in 3…2…1…