“But I wasn’t born last night” thought Drake’s son. Don’t worry, Drake’s son – I’m sure you’re on the list somewhere, but right now the number one spot belongs to last night’s NBA Finals win by the Toronto Raptors. And the Raptor’s biggest, loudest cheerleader lost his shit over it.
The Toronto Raptors (WOOOO GO RAPS! – I’m required to say that as someone born in Toronto) won their first ever NBA Championship during game 6 against the Golden State Warriors last night. Luckily for all those Warriors fans, the victory wasn’t rubbed in their faces by Drake power-tripping from the side of the court. Game 6 happened in Oakland last night, and the Raptors’ unofficial mascot was back at home in Toronto.
Drake celebrated the win in Jurassic Park – and I honestly wish I was making a joke here, but no. The team name was influenced by the 1993 movie (I remember voting in the team naming contest, but I picked The Hogs). Jurassic Park is the nickname for the area outside of the arena where the Raptors’ play. Drake obviously had his own VIP area made where he could lose his mind when he saw his beloved team win (and thus kill that rumor that he cursed the team). Drake was screaming, Drake was hugging, Drake was chugging champagne. Drake probably set his erotic watch to read: “I want to kiss all of you tonight.”
— TSN (@TSN_Sports) June 14, 2019
Then Drake got spiritual by saying that the win was “willed into existence” and manifested by the fans. Drake just admitted what I always suspected, which is that he’s got a little Raptors shrine in his bedroom that he prays to every night while draped in a WE THE NORTH flag.
DRAKE REALLY THINKS HE'S ON THE TEAM 😂😂🤣pic.twitter.com/LUfzehJ60G
— Nick (@NickTheBullsFan) June 14, 2019
He also rode through the city in a car. That tweet above is right, he really does think he’s on the team.
— SLAM (@SLAMonline) June 14, 2019
Drake also used the Raptors’ win to promote the release of two new songs.
I bet Drake celebrated by going full-Drake at a club after he was done riding around town like the grand marshal of his one-man parade. You know he asked for a stripper to address him as Most Valuable champagnePapi while giving him a lap dance to the Jurassic Park theme.