Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 10, 2019 / Posted by:

I first need to apologize to Patty Ratburn for chopping one of her best features, her rat nose, to fit her into that composite. Although, I did spare her from inhaling the nostril hair-burning aroma of the beautiful dick chili.

That saying, “April showers brings May flowers“, works here, because every finalist in the HSOTM battle is a stunning blossom. Billy Porter’s Met Gala look is an exquisitely sparkly blossom from the garden of The Luxor in Las Vegas. The ceramic ballet shoes from the 80s are from the garden of important bedroom decorations. The chili dick is from my garden, pretty much. And Patty Ratburn is from the garden of power lesbian rats.

Like every time, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes. The fourth was picked by me. Your choices are:

Billy Porter’s Met Gala look, the opulent image of gold-drenched perfection that Billy Porter wore to the Met Gala while answering the question, “What would it look like if Cleopatra starred in a Las Vegas production of Angels in America?

The ceramic ballerina slippers, the pair of elegantly-crafted ceramic ballerina slippers that were the jewel of every girl’s room!

The dick chili, the chili from Firebox (a perfect name for a company that makes the perfect chili) that promises to grow in the shape of a circumcised short dick that peen-hungry rabbits will eat up before you do.

Patty Ratburn, the power lesbian rat sister of Arthur the Aardvark’s teacher, Mr. Ratburn, who shamelessly stole the show with her business woman glamour at her brother’s coming out wedding!

Voting is below! The winning HSOTM will be announced this Friday.


Pics: Wenn.com, EtsyFirebox, PBS

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