Nashville loves any excuse to bust out the fringe, sequins, and in an alarming new trend, the too-tight high-water trousers. Last night marked country music’s 37th biggest night with the successful handing out of the CMT Awards, which are fan-voted awards honoring country music video and live performances. The trophies appear to be made out of plastic and it was broadcast on CMT. So if you get that channel, let us know how the show was. The only thing we have to go on here is the red carpet and from the looks of things, it was a confused and ill fitting affair.
I’m all for genre busting but the band Lo Cash (above) are really testing the boundaries of country music with their hip hop meets heavy metal meets street magician 90’s George Michael aesthetic. And they say Lil Nas X is the problem. Sheesh!
And what’s going on with Lainey Wilson? Is she going in undercover to infiltrate the Manson Family? Because she looks like a narc. She absolutely has a recording device in that bag and is going to be asking Squeaky Fromme a lot of questions about where she gets her “grass“. Or maybe she’s auditioning to play Marcia in the revival of The Brady Bunch Hour variety show.
If that’s the case, she’s got some stiff competition with Maren Morris and Ryan Hurd who showed up looking like what would happen if Marcia and Greg threw caution and taboo to the wind, moved to another state (Arizona maybe) and began a new life together as husband and wife. Being siblings and all, they changed their names to Mandy and Gavin Grady. Mandy’s a cocktail waitress at the Best Western Resort in Scottsdale where Gavin spends his time cozying up to her customers looking for investors for his pyramid scheme selling vitamins.
Unfortunately, his pitch didn’t work on Lauren Akins and Thomas Rhett. Gavin tried to talk them into going back to his and Mandy’s place after her shift for a nightcap but they declined. Turns out Lauren only had another hour to spare before her next “appointment”.
On the more wholesome side of things we have young Leon Bridges who’s nanny Maria made this for him. They were supposed to be lederhosen he could skip and jump in, but silly Maria cut the pattern wrong so now Leon and all his siblings are running around in matching high-end Indian restaurant waiter uniforms.
The rest of the gallery is a real wild ride. I recommend you take a Dramamine before proceeding.