I just watched the video for Paris Hilton‘s song Best Friend’s Ass and it definitely resembles shit that came out of someone’s ass. It’s a clusterfuck of spastic camera shots, club scenes and women’s rest rooms: so basically it’s like every weekend Paris Hilton has ever had in her life. Oh, but Lindsay Lohan loves the video? Yeah that feud is still a thing, I guess.
This song came out a while ago, but Paris just released the video for it. The video is all about two friends who put on glasses at some rave and enter into a virtual reality paradise where they are Paris Hilton and Nikita Dragun. Which honestly I read as a metaphor for how Paris Hilton and people like her all think they’re important and cool because they’re rich and famous but really they’re just more mindless blondes in a sea of people who invent relevance in their own heads and instead just contribute to the downfall of society through over-hyped expectations, greed and self-infatuation. I don’t think that’s what they were going for, though.
Notice how Kim Kardashian is prominently featured in this header photo? She’s in the video all of six seconds and you don’t even see her ass! So like? Why are you even there? Like, Paris is really embarrassing herself. Remember how much shit she used to talk about Kim? Now she’s out here putting her in a music video to help get views on YouTube. The blind leading the blind.
Then, hoping to also cling to someone slightly more relevant than they in order to get a few minutes of publicity, Lindsay Lohan decided to “shade” Paris (people are calling it that but it’s not that) by posting a throwback photo of the two of them and congratulating her on the new song:
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So what’s the shade? That you were… friends once? So like… is she supposed to be embarrassed or… mad? I don’t think you know how to do “shade”, Lindsay. Ask one of your interns for help. They’re real capable.
I don’t know what Paris Hilton is up to. Her post-breakup career is really the same as her career in her twenties. Is she going to be opening night clubs and pretending to DJ forever? Come on Paris, get on a Real Housewives-type reality show and have your storyline be that you’re a sad woman who can never find love. You can be the Khloé Kardashian of the Hilton Family!