Michael Avenatti is the walking, talking punchline to every dumb lawyer joke you’ve ever heard. In addition to the fraud and embezzlement charges he’s already facing for allegedly defrauding his clients to pad his own pockets, and a lawsuit brought by Nike accusing him of extortion, new allegations that he defrauded his main meal ticket Stormy Daniels have emerged. According to the AP, Michael is accused of forging Stormy’s signature and stealing her book advance to pay for his “extravagant lifestyle”. Q: What’s the difference between a Michael Avenatti and a hooker? A: a hooker only screws one person at a time. See, it works every time!
The AP reports:
Federal prosecutors in New York City say Avenatti used a doctored document to divert about $300,000 that Daniels was supposed to get from a book deal, then used the money for personal and business expenses. Only half of that money was paid back, prosecutors said.
In announcing the new charges Wednesday, prosecutors said that Avenatti sent a “fraudulent and unauthorized letter” to Daniels’ literary agent, instructing the agent to send payments not to Daniels but to a bank account Avenatti controlled. They said he used the stolen funds to pay employees of his law firm and pay for hotels, airfare, dry cleaning and his Ferrari.
Q: How do you know Michael Avenatti is lying? A: His lips are moving. Or in this case, his Twitter fingers are moving. Michael, of course, denies the allegations. Well, he doesn’t actually deny forging Stormy’s signature, but he insists that the money was owed to him because he only charged her $100 to take her case.
Back in November, Stormy began publicly complaining about Michael being a shady ass mother fucker. At the time she alleged that he filed that defamation case against Donald Trump without her consent which ended with her being ordered to pay Donny’s legal fees to the tune of $300,000. She also questioned his handling of crowdsourced funds and accused him of launching a second campaign using her name and face without her permission. And according to the AP, she was also wondering where the fuck her book money was.
Daniels raised concerns with Avenatti about late payments around the time her book, “Full Disclosure,” was published in October, according to the indictment.
“When is the publisher going to cough up my money,” she asked Avenatti in early December, according to the indictment.
Avenatti responded that he was “working them and threatening litigation,” prosecutors said, but he did not tell Daniels he had already received the money.
Stormy ultimately fired his ass in March when the Nike charges were filed against him.
My statement regarding my former attorney Mr. Avenatti.. pic.twitter.com/9aKYCPNN6y
— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) March 25, 2019
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Michael Avenatti wakes up in the hospital after surgery and asks why all the curtains are closed. The nurse answers, “There’s a fire across the street and we didn’t want you to think the operation had been a failure”. That’s a kindness Michael’s not earned.