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May 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Smurf Vitamins!

If Google existed in the 1980s, one of the most Googled questions from parents would have been, “My stupid kid just swallowed the contents of an entire bottle of Flintstones vitamins, does this mean I have to take ’em to the ER? Please say no because I don’t want to miss my Knot’s Landing. DVRs don’t exist yet.” Flintstones ruled the delicious kids vitamin scenes in the olden days, but of course, many, many tried to get a piece of the game including The Smurfs!

In the early-80s, baby formula company Mead Johnson put out Smurf chewable vitamins. Like Flintstones chewable vitamins, Smurf vitamins were shaped like different Smurf chararacters. The Smurf vitamin heads were blue, of course, Gargamel was purple, and Azrael was orange. But to me, what really sold Smurf vitamins were the bottles, which had a decapitated Smurf head on it.

There was even a Smurfette one, which looked less like Smurfette and more like a stoned blue baby in a Betty Draper wig:

The other day in a coffee shop, I saw what looked like a 3 or 4 year old play with the Snapchat filters on an iPhone, and if I saw him do that again today, I’d look at him and think, “Sure, you can work an iPhone better than I can, but have you ever felt the barfs after eating an entire bottle of Smurf vitamins?” I pity the youth of today.

Pic: Bluebuddies, Pinterest

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