Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 20, 2019 / Posted by:

The dick chili!

Hi, yes, can you please send an ambulance, because my asshole is on fire after I kind of sort accidentally fell onto a dick-shaped chili lubed-up asshole first” is probably something a 911 operator will hear from me in the near future. I know, what a stupid joke. Like I’ve got any feeling down there.

I suddenly have a green thumb and no, it’s not from me fingering the Jolly Green Giant (I wish!). It’s from me wanting to plant the chili that’s shaped like a short uncut dick. If you’re a size queen who also hates spicy foods, move on, because this HSOTD ain’t for you.

A company called Firebox Creations has answered the question, “I wondered what Heat Miser’s dick looks like?”, by creating a grow-a-dick kit that lets you grow a dick chili. This is how they explain it:

All you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist – in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. Mental. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice.

And 12 days after you’ve watered your chili willies with Wet Lube and added some crush-up Viagra, this is what pops up:

It’s sold out and only available for delivery in Europe, but that’s probably for the best. Imagine planting that in your yard, and spending massive amounts of time caring for it (read: like, 3 minutes totaly watering it), only for it to sprout up and “disappear.” And by “disappear,” I mean disappear up your fuck parts since your slut ass can’t help itself. I mean, that would be awful.

Pic: Firebox

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