The Gay Olympics AKA the annual Eurovision Song Contest took place in Tel Aviv yesterday. Duncan Laurence from the Netherlands sat at a piano and boringly sang a song called “Arcade” to a droplight from Ikea and won. Meanwhie, Madonna’s got a new album to shill, and despite getting criticism for agreeing to perform in Israel, she popped up to
Gregorian chant sing some songs. Being Madge, she had to mark her territory with some controversy, according to Vulture.
Madonna showed up in her new guise of the Portuguese Junkyard Jesus known as Madame X. She’s got the spikes and the crown and the religious iconography going on with cloaks and Road Warrior shoulder pads and an everpresent bejeweled eyepatch. Except that eyepatch had a hole in it! We see you, Madonna! Your depth perception is fine, you fake!
My Photoshop skills are flawless, I know.
Madge gave an awkward interview before her perfomance where she encouraged all of the contestants to keep following their dreams. And then she did a pitchy version of “Like A Prayer” (this year is the album’s 30th anniversary) with monks. It was boring and the real tension was worrying if M was going to fall down the stairs in her big fetish boots.
She then sang her new song “Future” with Quavo from Migos. It was during this song that M had her dancers wearing opposing Israeli and Palestinian flags. At an event in Tel Aviv. Oh, Madge!
Ahh, I was disappointed Madonna didn't have more of a Palestine statement aside from the ambiguous "Wake Up" but see now on Twitter that she did but the camera just cut away #Eurovision pic.twitter.com/bczFAa2KMv
— Maureen Collins (@maureenmckendry) May 18, 2019
Pro-Palestine activists had urged her not to attend prior to the show but, according to the Independent, M said she wanted to
promote her album forge “a new path toward peace.” She ended it with a big “WAKE UP” across the screen behind her. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is over!
Quavo looked like he’d rather be home cleaning out the inside of his microwave. Oh, Quavo!
And speaking of overwrought attention whores, bloviator extreme Piers Morgan has proclaimed that Madge’s Pirate Heidi of Arc performance signaled the end of her career.
RIP Madonna’s career. ?? pic.twitter.com/KIYmJjdYLV
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 18, 2019
Seeing as though Piers has always been Madge’s biggest fan, he doesn’t mean that. Yes, he hate-faps to many things, but nothing really does it for him like hate-fapping to Madge. Sorry for that visual.