Arnold Schwarzenegger Got Kicked In The Back And It Wasn’t By Linda Hamilton On The Set Of A “Terminator” Movie
Former governor of California and secret second family patriarch Arnold Schwarzenegger was just chilling at an event in South Africa when some daytime ninja struck and dropkicked him in the back! Despite being 71 (and recently undergoing emergency heart surgery), Schwarzenegger is still mostly muscle so the daytime ninja’s feet might be powder now.
Deadspin reports that Arnold was at his Arnold Classic Africa sports festival in Johannesburg yesterday to encourage kids to stay fit so they, too, can one day impregnate their maid. That’s when tragedy struck! Or kicked, rather.
As he starts taking a picture with someone, a man is seen sprinting towards the former bodybuilder and then jumping and kicking Schwarzenegger in the back.
In the vid taken from the front, Arnold’s face flashes “WTF?” as he’s OOOF-ed into the crowd.
Security quickly subdued the guy and dragged his ass out of there as he inexplicably screamed “Help me, I need a Lamborghini!” a few times.
ABC News reports that Arnold was fine and later joked about it on Twitter.
In a later tweet, Arnold thanked people for their concern over the incident saying there was nothing to worry about, adding: “Thanks for your concerns, but there is nothing to worry about. I thought I was just jostled by the crowd, which happens a lot. I only realized I was kicked when I saw the video like all of you. I’m just glad the idiot didn’t interrupt my Snapchat.”
However, if you watch this video taken from further away, you’ll notice that Arnold goes into full T-1 mode after he gets his wits about him. He glares after the guy wishing he had a large rapid-firing gun to use on him. Lamborghini his Austrian, sexually harassing ass!
And if you have to share the video (I get it), pick a blurry one without whatever he was yelling so he doesn’t get the spotlight.
By the way… block or charge? pic.twitter.com/TEmFRCZPEA
— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) May 18, 2019
We’d all probably like a Lambo to drive but trying to kill Arnold isn’t a viable way to go about it. Letting Arnold impregnate you while he’s married to a Kennedy for that hush money is how you do it.