Duchess Meghan Listed Her Occupation As “Princess Of The United Kingdom” On Archie’s Birth Certificate

May 17, 2019 / Posted by:

It took me years and years before I was finally able to list something other than some configuration of office assistant/manager/administrator as my occupation on forms. Now I write “writer” and it honestly continues to be one of the biggest thrills of my life. Well, leave it to Dutchess Meghan to shit all over my little achievements. Baby Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor’s birth certificate has been made public and Meghan’s listed her profession as “Princess of the United Kingdom”, which is a flex of such magnitude, tsunami sirens all along the Eastern seaboard have been blaring since sunrise. OK, Meghan, we see you. Shit. Want to take your foot off my neck now? Your glass slipper is killing me.

But it wasn’t really Meghan’s doing. Even though they reportedly wanted to keep it private, Archie’s birth certificate is part of the public record. According to People, despite the fact that Meghan and Prince Harry may want baby archie to be raised as an untitled private citizen who has to pump his own gas and own a wallet, there was no way the powers that be were going to let Meghan write “actress/influencer” on his birth certificate. Duchess Kate also lists “Princess” as her occupation. And Harry is listed as, no shock, “Prince of the United Kingdom”.

With the release of the birth certificate, we also now know that Archie was born at Portland Hospital in Westminster, the same private hospital (oh, so the NHS isn’t good enough for the Princess?) that Victoria Beckham gave birth at. And if you’ve ever wondered which Friends character Meghan would be, she’s totally a Rachel. Literally.

Meghan’s full legal name, Rachel Meghan Markle, is also listed on the document. (Coincidentally, her character on Suits was also named Rachel!)

You know, my mom once told me that she wanted to name me Rachel but she ended up letting my dad pick the name Mieka, which I am told was the name of some stripper he met when he was serving in Korea. His listed occupation on my birth certificate was “bartender”, though I think “bar patron” would have been more accurate. And there wasn’t even a space for my mom to list an occupation even though she was the only one with a damn job! All this is to say that I’m at peace with where Meghan’s and my lives have diverged. I get to list “writer” as my occupation, and she’s saddled with the same outdated archaism that my mom had to deal with!

Pic: Wenn.com

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