Better watch what you say on flights, you may get yourself escorted off by police officers. And I’m not talking about the obvious jokes either, you know– bad bomb jokes like, “That $22 cheese and crackers box I just ate is going to make me butt bomb up this plane.” That comment will probably get you a three-hour date with TSA, but there are some less-obvious ones too. Take what happened to one man flying Southwest Airlines, who ended up kicked off a flight by an over-sensitive flight attendant when he made a joke about handing out vodka.
Fox40 reports that a flight from Sacramento to Los Angeles had been delayed for several hours when one man decided to try and lighten the mood. As a flight attendant was handing out water, a man made the joke that they should be “passing out vodka” instead. For whatever reason, it sent her into a rage.
Passenger Peter Uzelac was sitting next to the Vodka Comedian when this whole thing went down and spoke with Fox about it saying: “I have been flying for decades and I’ve never ever seen anything like this.” I know–Southwest’s planes are all painted blue, red and yellow: talk about tacky. But he’s not talking about the gimmicky paint job, he means the service. Peter describes it like this:
“He said something [like], ‘They should be passing out vodka because we’ve been waiting so long.’… She came by and was like, ‘I don’t think that and I didn’t like your joke.’ Then my wife tried to butt-in there and say, ‘Look it, we’ve been on this plane for hours.’ And she says, ‘Well, so have I, so get used to it.’… Then all of a sudden, I see her on the telephone up in front.”
Sacramento County Sheriff’s deputies then boarded the plane and escorted him off it, which pissed the rest of the plane off. Peter says:
“And people started yelling then. In fact, people stood up. I stood up. People were saying this man didn’t do anything.”
It didn’t matter–the joke was made, the deed was done and the guy missed his flight. The Sheriff’s office commented that he wasn’t charged with anything, however, which is like, DUH. What would be the charge? Show me the criminal violation. This is discrimination against those of us thirsty for booze, if you ask me.
Peter on his part filed a complaint with Southwest, and they obviously don’t care:
“We regret any less-than-positive experience a customer has onboard our aircraft. We welcome over 100 million customers each year, and we aim to maintain the comfort of all while delivering Southwest hospitality. We will share this report with our Customer Relations Team.”
Careful next time you make a joke on Southwest; it better be kept all the way G-rated–not even PG-13 or else some crusty flight attendant having a bad day will sick TSA on you. Meanwhile, Frontier is taking plane strictness even further and will kick you out in handcuffs in front of your child for complaining about the vomit on your seat. But in Frontier’s defense, if you don’t find vomit on your seat when flying Frontier, you should be shocked and surprised.