April’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

May 13, 2019 / Posted by:

April’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown came down to two magical beings: The Utah Jazz Dandelion and Joey the Unicorn Goat. But ultimately, many of you were hypnotized by the furry basketball gorgeousness of The Utah Jazz Dandelion and cast your votes for her.

The Utah Jazz Dandelion, who tickled eyeballs with her wondrous hair helmet and brought actual excitement to a basketball game, got 40% of your votes. Joey the Unicorn Goat got 32%. The Plane-Delaying Flamingo got 14%. And so did The Denim Diaper.

The Utah Jazz Dandelion graced the people with her magnificence about three weeks ago, and she still hasn’t been identified. My guess is that she never will be and we’ll never see her again. Because she knows that us lessers weren’t worthy of taking in her brown Q-Tip beauty the first time around, but she decided to be charitable. That’s not going to happen again, because seeing stunning hair like that twice in one lifetime is even more rare than a unicorn goat sighting or a Grindr trick who says he’s got 8 and really does have 8.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: YouTube

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