Many, many moons ago there was a time when people wouldn’t mind having Mel Gibson slide down their chimneys and chomp on their cookies during Christmastime, or any other time for that matter because Mel was hot! But that was years before he transformed into a racist-spewing anti-semitic resident of CrazyTown. And now he’s going to dress up in a red suit, give out gifts, and slapping at menorahs in Fatman. Mel will be checking his list twice to see if his name has finally been removed from the naughty side (SPOILER ALERT: It hasn’t).
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Mel will be portraying a terrible version of Santa Claus which means he is absolutely PERFECT for this film because he already portrays a terrible version of a human being in real life. Writers/ directors Ian and Eshom Nelms can’t wait to start working with Mel, even though the premise of this film seems more like something that should be released to Netflix directly so we can all save our time by napping at home instead of in a damn theater.
Scheduled to film early 2020 in Canada, Fatman is the story of a rowdy, unorthodox Santa who is fighting his business decline. Meanwhile, Billy, a neglected and precocious 12-year-old hires a hitman to kill Santa after receiving a lump of coal in his stocking.
“This rowdy Santa tale is a film we’ve been excited to make for some time and we’re thrilled to have equally passionate partners in Rough House and Fortitude who carry the same fire!” said the Nelms.
One of the film’s producers Nadine De Barros also expressed her excitement about working with Mel, probably because she’s hoping this will be the comeback comedy of the year that puts the gift of major cash in her bank account.
“I am excited to be working with the incredibly talented Nelms Brothers who have written a unique, highly entertaining script” said de Barros. “Mel is the perfect choice as Kris Kringle like we’ve never seen him before. I couldn’t be more thrilled to watch this darkly comedic Christmas film come to life.”
That “like we’ve never seen him before” part of her statement terrifies the hell out of me because we’ve already experienced Mel like we’ve never seen him before and that shit didn’t feel like Christmas at all.