Prophet Justin Bieber Says We Will All Regret Not Celebrating Chris Brown’s Genius While He’s Still Alive
Street prophet Justin Bieber cinched up his big boy pants (the full length ones!), pulled on his best socks and slides combo and stood on his corner soapbox to warn us citizens of humanity that we’re going to be really, really, super sorry for not supporting the unmistakeable talent and superstardom of his most bestest friend in the whole wide world while we had the chance! No, you have not been transported back to the year AD 20 when Jesus was walking among us making miracles happen. Sadly you are still stuck in AD 2019 and Justin is talking about none other than Chris Brown. Yes, that Chris Brown. The Biebs thinks that Chris is the #1 singer in the world and therefore we should overlook the “little” acts of his assholery and abuses towards women or we’ll all be sorry when he’s dead, just like we were over the premature deaths of Michael Jackson and Tupac Shakur. You hear that? We’ll all be sorry!
Justin posted on Instagram an image of what he calls The Legendary Equation. I thought the legendary equation was the one Albert Einstein created that altered the course of humanity forever? That being E=mc2. But that was Einstein and this is Bieber, so the new legendary equation is “MJ + 2Pac= CB“. This must be the kind of math they teach at Hillsong.
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everyone wants to wait til people die To give them the credit they deserve. I’m calling it now when CB passes away after a long full life, you will miss what you had in front of you the whole time … trust me watch you will see. the people who have over looked this mans talent because of a mistake he made.. you need to reevaluate! Love you @chrisbrownofficial
Justin continued to pontificate upon his mathematical theory, claiming that we will all have serious FOMO when Chris is gone if we don’t start stanning hard for him now:
“everyone wants to wait til people die To give them the credit they deserve. I’m calling it now when CB passes away after a long full life, you will miss what you had in front of you the whole time … trust me watch you will see. the people who have over looked this mans talent because of a mistake he made.. you need to reevaluate! Love you @chrisbrownofficial”
Chris was quick to respond to Justin’s boner for him in the comments to Justin’s post, in all caps of course, because that makes it LOUDER and shows that he REALLY MEANS IT:
“I LOVE YOU MAN! THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME. YOUR STAR SHINES SO BRIGHT AND YOUR HEART IS UNMATCHED! YOU ARE A KING BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU WERE PUT HERE TO INSPIRE AND CREATE ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES BRO! IM WITH YA TILL THE WHEELS FALL OFF AND WHEN THEY DO … WE GONE GET SOME NEW WHEELS ????❤️”
Get a room, you two! And just when I thought that wheels were safe for everyone, I suddenly want to start a rescue mission for the wheels blatantly disregarded and tossed aside by Justin and Chris in their mutual masturbation session. Won’t somebody think of the wheels!
If your shit list was getting too short, you can add a few names by scrolling down the comments on Justin’s post to see who’s weighed in on backing Chris as the next musical messiah. Nick Cannon (who claims in the comments that he made the meme that Justin posted), Marlon Wayans, J Balvin and Sean Kingston are a few of the blue check marked names that are supporting this narrative of Chris as Living Legend. And this, fellow humans, is why the fuck we as a society can’t have nice things.