Yesterday, when the internet filled to the top with nerd cream as all you damn nerds busted thousands of nerd nuts over the latest Game of Thrones episode and the Avengers: PleaseEndAlready, I put on my scuba mask while wading in the ocean of nerd jizz, and prayed that Duchess Meghan would continue to be the REBEL ROYAL by going into labor and streaming the birth of her baby live on Instagram. Maybe that would stop the non-stop chunky stream of GoT and Avengers talk (it wouldn’t have).
But it looks like my newest arch rival (because that baby gets to call Prince Hot Ginge “daddy“) still hasn’t exited Meghan’s womb and entered a life of royal luxury. Prince Hot Ginge was at the London Marathon yesterday, and so his baby wasn’t born yesterday, but that lucky bundle of freckliness is coming any day now. Just don’t ask Prince William when the kid is coming, because he’ll play dumb. What good is he?!
During his visit to New Zealand, Prince William was asked when PHG and Meghan’s baby would arrive, and surprisingly he didn’t say, “Who cares! I’m banishing that baby and their annoying parents to Africa anyway!” Prince William instead joked that he didn’t know and that the public would probably find out before him, at this rate.
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Baby Sussex talk with uncle William ❤️??: I edited this video with the text with what the woman said and what Prince William said during a walkabout in New Zealand ?? he is there on behalf of the Queen. He sounds so sincere ❤️?. . . The Woman: “Any signs of the Royal Baby???” . Prince William: “I haven’t got my phone on me ?. I have no idea! You guys will find out before I do at this rate!” NOTE: New Zealand is 12 hours ahead than the UK ? . . Video source: Marie Han via @newzealandwomansweekly Edit: ME! . . #duchessofsussex #meghanmarkle #princeharry #katemiddleton #britishroyalfamily #duchessofcambridge #royalfamily #royals #princewilliam
Strangely enough, that comment didn’t inspire The Sun to go with the headline: War Of The BRO-ses! Prince William Trashes Harry And Meghan For Being Media Whores Who Will Leak The News Of Their Baby To The Press Before Telling Him!
My miniature nemesis will be born any second now, and as we know, there’s a chance Meghan will birth that baby out at home. And unlike Kate, Meghan will not pull her swollen cooch out onto the street to pose for a photo-op four seconds after giving birth.
And about those photo-ops, one of Meghan’s friends supposedly told Page Six that mega feminist Meghan felt sorry for Kate having to get photoshoot-ready fresh not long after a human was pulled out of her body.
In fact, one friend of Meghan’s told The Post that the duchess, a committed feminist, actually “felt sorry” for her sister-in-law, Kate Middleton, having to face the world’s media — while wearing a dress, heels and impeccable hair and makeup — mere hours after giving birth.
PHG, Meghan, and their baby will do a photo-op, but will do it when they want to, so it could be a minute. Meghan probably needs time to teach her baby how to ninja kick for when Samantha Markle rolls on in, trying to crash their photo-op party.