When all of the frat brahs who fetishized Adam Sandler movies grew up and dropped him to start secretly pounding it to Tucker Carlson on Fox News, Sandler’s stock dropped with the regular movie studios. But, luckily for him, he was able to find refuge at Netflix. For some reason, the streaming service signed him to two multi-picture deals. Here’s the trailer for his latest flick, Murder Mystery, with Jennifer Aniston. Who did she lose a bet with? Angelina Jolie?
Murder Mystery features Sandler as a police detective on his honeymoon with his, surprise, murder mystery-loving wife played by Aniston. A sexy stranger played by Luke Evans invites them to hang out on his giant-ass yacht. Someone’s murdered and the usual Sandler cast of racial stereotypes and befuddled caricatures of real humans suspect Adam and Aniston!
As Vulture points out, at least Gemma Atherton looks flawless and is presumably the only character we can sympathize with for being a lady of class and distinction trapped on a yacht with Adam Sandler. And you know they didn’t give her ass any good lines because it’s an Adam Sandler movie. This is the same dude who made a movie where the main character being sexually molested by Susan Sarandon as a kid was played as a joke.
The only path to redemption for this assured shitfling of a movie is for Aniston and Atherton’s characters to realize that this is a colossal mistake and team up to throw Sandler’s character overboard while encouraging Luke Evans’ character to run around in a speedo when he’s not having multiple sex scenes with dudes. Yes, that’s as lowbrow and shallow as the movie’s actual storyline but it’s a different kind of low-brow and shallow. There’s naked men in this kind!