KFC US saw KFC Hong Kong’s popcorn-infused popcorn chicken and pfft’d at it, because they knew they were about to make pussies pop (or cringe, depending on what your kink is) for Mother’s Day. Buff Colonel Sanders wants moms to bust out some coochie gravy this Mother’s Day and so KFC has teamed up with Chippendales, which is fitting since both pump their main products up with hormones.
If you’re so cheap that you don’t want to spend any money on your mom for Mother’s Day and you also have a mother who has a weird Colonel Sanders crush, then KFC has the perfect thing for you. If you go to Chickendales.com and enter in your mom’s name and state, they’ll send her a video striptease of the Chickendales thrusting those drumsticks. I didn’t do one for my mom, because I really don’t feel like spending three hours of my day helping her open up a link I e-mailed to her.
So I made one for myself, and while waiting for the video, I got this ad:
Biscuits covered in white stickiness… Those sucios at KFC (kinky fucking crassbitches) know what they did!
The video is below, and fun maybe fact: the hot piece of chicken fried beef to the right of Colonel Sanders might also be a gay porn star named Connor that I’ve seen on CorbinFisher. I love his work there and I love it here.
There’s a finger lickin’ good joke in there, but I’m not going to touch it. And this makes me think that KFC is very close to busting out some Colonel Sanders porn for attention. And no, I’m not going to Google “Colonel Sanders porn” to see if that exists already, because I know it does and my browser doesn’t need that today.