Johnny Depp Has Found New Love With A Russian Go-Go Dancer

April 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Johnny Depp is reportedly dating, and wants to marry, a Russian “go-go dancer” who is absolutely, 100%, assuredly, verifiable, and without a doubt not interested in his money. Like, not at all. Put the ridiculous idea out of your head immediately. You should be ashamed for even thinking that in the first place. According to The Daily Mail, Polina Glenwas just chilling” at a party in L.A. when Johnny strolled into her life. She didn’t even know who he was! That was probably sometime last year. Now she lives in his house and a source says they’re making plans for Johnny to meet her parents in Russia.

The Mail has spoken to somebody who is familiar with the situation and they said, “When you’re 55 and you meet a twenty-something, there’s no drama. It’s fresh. You’re completely head over heels. She’s got a beautiful body”. Truer words, my friends. Truer words. Don’t believe me? Just ask Nic Cage!

 

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New dance video “RAINGURL” DROP TONIGHT. X

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I don’t know why the comments are turned off this one, oh wait yes I do now that I see the emojis.

 

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??

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*yikes emoji*

The Daily Mail says that Johnny and Polina were first spotted together back in May 2018 when Johnny was on tour in Russia with Hollywood Vampires. That’s the same month we learned that Johnny wasn’t actually dying from some wasting disease, that’s just how he looks. They were papped “in a steamy embrace” (steamy/smokey, potato/potahto) while staying at a hotel in Belgrade, Serbia. They were also photographed walking together in Moscow.

You know what, I can still feel your resistance and skepticism about this absolutely organic love story. Perhaps this will set your jaded mind at ease.

The friend said: ‘Polina met Johnny at a party in LA. She gets invited to a lot of stuff and ran into him. She’s a dancer and a hot girl.

‘He’s got legal issues with his ex-wife and then here’s this beautiful young Russian dancer, that doesn’t want anything and doesn’t even know who he is. The Russian girls don’t know him. They have no clue about actors and people always look different in person.

Remember, they don’t have internet or Disney in Russia. How would she know he’s famous, let alone rich, let alone actually only one of those things!?

‘She’s really sweet and caring. She’s very talented. I’m sure Johnny assists but she’s off doing her own thing.

‘Polina said that they are going to get married and that he wants to go to Russia to meet her parents.’

Haters might note that they might not have too much in common, but haters would be wrong. Polina and Johnny find plenty of wholesome ways to enjoy each other’s company.

‘They are a puppy love couple. They sit together. I think he shows her old movies in his theater. He falls asleep a lot in his chair during the movies.

‘Johnny is really busy, he works all the time. He’s exhausted a lot.

Poor little lamb, burning the candle at both ends like that. You’d think he could take some “us” time to enjoy this blossoming relationship, but alas, lawyers don’t work for free.

Pic: Instagram

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