It sounds like things aren’t going quite as well for Bill Cosby in prison as he had previously let on. Last we heard he was adored by all, feeling great, and luxuriating in the prestige that only comes with being an imprisoned civil rights hero and a political martyr. But all of a sudden he wants out. Like real, real bad. Like he dropped his harmonica down the toilet and his cellmate stole his stamps bad.
Bill’s been trying to appeal his sexual assault conviction since the gavel dropped, but he’s just filed a request for bail with the Superior Court so he can shit in private while that’s happening. Bill’s also released a statement explaining why he should never have had his toilet paper rationed in the first place. He’s a political prisoner don’t you know, and the racist judge is out to get him! Plus now there’s corn in his harmonica. Bill doesn’t even remember eating corn!
According to CBS News:
Attorneys for the 81-year-old filed an application on Wednesday for Cosby to be let out of prison pending appeal in the Superior Court of Pennsylvania, asking for the higher court to take up Cosby’s bail request instead of the trial court, as is typical procedure.
The request for higher court consideration comes as Cosby’s attorneys claim his trial judge, Montgomery County Judge Steven O’Neill, had a conflict of interest against a witness for Cosby’s defense and that O’Neill has “unduly delayed” Cosby’s appeal.
Bill must be listening to “I’m a Bitch” on his little first generation Zune MP3 player with the foam covered headphones on repeat, because he sounds very conflicted about what and who he is these days. One minute he’s a feeble old blind man raking his tin cup across his jail cell bars for a crust of bread, the next he’s The Last Black Panther fighting against “the judge’s racial hatred”. In a very lengthy statement, Bill explained his need for a higher court to grant him bail because he claims that Judge O’Neail will use “tried and true” methods to “destroy Any Black Man and/or Colored Man In America”, but specifically him.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Official Statement Outlining Why Actor/Comedian Bill Cosby Filed An Application For Bail Pending Appeal. Judge Steven T. O’Neill continues to show his disgust and prejudice towards Mr. Cosby. Judge O’Neill is purposely denying Mr. Cosby the right to file his Appeal, because he has refused to issue his 1925(a) Opinion, which outlines why he felt strongly in sentencing Mr. Cosby to 3 to 10 years and felt obligated to place this 81 years old blind United States Citizen (who served his country in the United States Navy), in a level (5) maximum security prison (SCI Phoenix). The Application For Bail Pending Appeal was filed this morning in the Superior Court (First Appellate Court), which illuminates the egregious behavior of Judge Steven T. O’Neill. We’re asking that this scandalous judge be removed immediately, and Mr. Cosby be granted bail throughout the appeals process, because the judge’s racial hatred towards Mr. Cosby, clouds his better judgement to be a good steward of the bench. “This judge took an oath. I Believe. To be fair and impartial, which grants him the authority to perform all of the duties detailed in the Constitution,” states Bill Cosby. “I don’t know what Constitutional rock this judge resides, because his refusal to write an opinion, reveals that he’s complicit in the corruption against me, and that he’s an accessory to the incestuous behavior that resides in Montgomery County. His dishonorable conduct makes me smile, because this judge is being exposed, and it shows that this is bigger than me, [Bill Cosby]. O’Neill now has his formula: tried, true and tested to destroy Any Black Man and/or Colored Man In America. I’m just so happy, because this guy is proving my innocence. And guess what else. America is finally getting to witness the truth” states Mr. Cosby. #FreeBillCosby #FarFromFinished Please see updated information: Bail Relief Application including exhibits http://www.pacourts.us/assets/files/setting-6757/file-7740.pdf?cb=864ca6
ABC News points out that in the filing, there is no mention whatsoever of “racial hatred” or bias by judge O’Neill, but it does make sure to remind the court that “Mr. Cosby’s advanced age“, and the fact that he’s “legally blind” should be considered. Also of note, Bill refused to go to mandatory sex offender counseling on the grounds that he has “no remorse” because he’s innocent, but also because he thinks that the classes are “entrapment” (“I’m your hell, I’m your dream, I’m nothing in between…“). His refusal could be factored into any eventual parole consideration.
For a freedom fighter, Bill sure is focused on the freedom of just one person in particular. But I’m sure that if he ever does get out, Bill will be super dedicated to social justice reform across the board. Bill’s brothers-in-arms Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr., all did some of their best work after they were wrongly convicted and imprisoned for aggravated sexual assault. I don’t see why we should expect any less from Bill.