Taylor Swift’s Stalker Is Going Away For Two To Four Years

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson can finally stop watching the windows and pacing the property line at Taylor Swift‘s homes, because her stalker is officially going to jail. Time to bust out the wet food and the treats those pussies love that you think aren’t healthy–Meredith and Olivia deserve a reward for all their hard work keeping Taylor’s collections of Beanie Babies and posters of NSYNC safe!

Page Six is reporting that Taylor’s stalker, 23-year-old Roger Alvarado, is going to jail. In March, Roger was arrested after he broke into Taylor’s Tribeca townhouse because I guess her security was total shit before Meredith and Olivia got a look at it. One is a doctor and the other a detective! Of course they know about home security, girl! Roger was found asleep in Taylor’s bed (which she has since burned and replaced) after he had climbed up a ladder he took from a construction site, smashed in a window and taken a shower. Taylor wasn’t there at the time.

Roger has now taken a plea deal and there will be no more warm showers at Taylor’s place and only cold showers with foot fungus everywhere. The Manhattan Supreme Court Justice, Laura Ward, sentenced Roger for criminal contempt, which got him two to four years in prison and told him that he could have: “absolutely, positively no contact with Taylor Swift. No phone calls, no letters, no video contact… Hopefully. no judge will ever see you again.”

That is some wishful thinking, because Roger was interviewed while in jail by Page Six  and he told them that he would “probably” break in again:

“I don’t want to hurt her… I just wanted to speak to her, to talk to her. She seems nice [and] cool.”

I’m sorry; do prisons let tabloids interview clearly mentally unstable people for the purpose of generating attention? Truly humanity is a failed experiment. Hopefully Roger finds himself in prison and stops being obsessed with Taylor. Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson need to start getting back to sleeping 16 hours a day instead of keeping watching 24/7. In the meantime Taylor’s going to start another social media countdown, but this one will be to the day Roger gets released.

Pic: Wenn.com

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