Open Post: Hosted By Horny Alligators Invading Florida

April 16, 2019 / Posted by:

In case you’ve been looking for another reason to visit Florida, the Florida Travel Advisory Board has your answer: horny alligators! Turns out warming temps and mating season have made typical Florida alligators turn into typical Florida people by acting like aggressive horn dogs who will show up uninvited in your pool or under your car.

HuffPo reports:

With the mating season underway, the randy reptiles tend to be more active. But one expert told local media there was more to it than that. The weather is getting warmer and the higher temps speed up the reptiles’ metabolism and make them hungrier.

Here’s one who may or may not be trying to pick up that tire:

And here’s another roaming the streets in heat:

There has been several strange places these gators have shown up including pools, outside a local jail and even hanging out on the beach. And it’s only just the beginning according to Florida Fish and Wildlife:

Expect to see more gators out in the open and on the prowl. Florida Fish and Wildlife said the creatures begin courting in April, then get busy in May or June.

So the gator fuck fest starts in May or even June but they start courting in April. Who knew alligators courted? For a whole month or two! Do gators even have Instagram pages to like, or gator bars so they can buy $12 IPAs and pretend it’s not a big deal.

Horny alligators and a single Michael Lohan are living in the very same state! Please remind me to check in on this story in a few months and see how their both doing. Somehow I feel that their paths will cross and this story will get even weirder.

Pic: Twitter

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