Why Was Everyone Talking About “Game Of Thrones” Yesterday When They Should’ve Been Talking About This

April 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Fire can truly fuck itself raw in its fiery hole, because not only has it horrifyingly gone after a priceless icon and Dame, breaking our hearts, it has gone after the lair of a priceless icon and Dame too.

Us non-nerds who don’t watch Game of Thrones could not escape that shit all weekend. The birds in the trees were chirping out Daynerds Taragon, or whatever her name is, and I’m sure your Tinder and Grindr trick even shouted, “Winter is coming, bitch!” before busting a nut all over you. To escape all the non-stop nerd talk, I went hiking in the middle of nowhere yesterday (See what GoT mania has done to me?!) and while passing another hiker, I heard him talking about the very thing I was trying to avoid. And it says a lot about the state of humanity when everyone was talking about GoT yesterday when they really should’ve been talking about how we almost lost (not really) the dazzling human diamond that is Dame Joan Collins!

Since I am convinced that Dame Joan spends 100% of her time at home luxuriating in a bubble bath while wearing diamonds and sipping burned champagne, she was luxuriating in a bubble bath while wearing diamonds and sipping burned champagne when a fire broke out in her London apartment on Saturday. BBC News says that Dame Joan’s apartment on Eaton Place, Belgravia caught on fire and ten firefighters were called to take it down.

85-year-old Joan tweeted that her 54-year-old boy toy husband Percy Gibson managed to destroy the flames before firefighters arrived, but she graciously thanked them.

And where there’s fire that has the audacity to mess with Dame Joan Collins, there’s smoke that has the audacity to mess with Dame Joan Collins’ lungs. She and Percy were treated for smoke inhalation, but are going to be fine.

She also shared video of what the fire did to her apartment:


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The remains of the day…see my recent #tweet Thank you @londonfirebrigade #shafetsbury !! ❤️❤️

A post shared by Joan Collins (@joancollinsdbe) on

Police confirmed that Dame Joan and Percy were treated, and also said the fire is not suspicious.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said two people were treated by the London Ambulance Service but did not require hospital treatment, adding that the fire was deemed non-suspicious.

See, this fire seems all kind of suspicious to me, and I’m wondering if Linda Evans was seen running from the scene with a box of matches in her hand and a maniacal cackle coming out of her mouth. Or maybe the curtains in Dame Joan’s lair could no longer handle being exposed to her flaming glamour and caught on fire. Yeah, that must’ve been it.

Pic: Wenn.com

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