Robert Smith Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

April 12, 2019 / Posted by:

“Bitch, it only took your stupid ass 32 years,” said my emo cholita cousins who worship The Cure and have been waiting for Robert Smith to be Hot Slut of the Month before Hot Slut of the Month even existed.

Robert Smith has won the crown of Hot Slut of March 2019, and it isn’t because of his music or because he’s one of the gods to emo cholitas everywhere or because of his electrocuted goth nana glamour. It’s because of this priceless moment at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony when he came face-to-face with the sheer definition of entertainment reporter PERKINESS and gave us full Robert Smith. This is like watching a gorgeous black cloud cover the sun!

So because of that moment, Robert Smith won 49% of your votes, easily taking down Jason Hardesty (31%), Life Savers Creme Savers (12%), and Dream Glow Barbie (8%).

Robert Smith will now go on to next year’s Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, and no, he’s not as excited as you are about it. Not even close.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Wenn.com

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