Arby’s is offering the most Arby’s promotion of all time. They are flying ten people to Hawaii to try their new Hawaii-themed sandwiches, but here’s the catch: YOU HAVE TO FLY HOME THE SAME DAY. You know what that means, you are going to have to have your Arby’s diarrhea in a tiny plane bathroom.
The one-day Hawaii trip includes a first-class flight to the state, and the chance to eat the new King’s Hawaiian Smokehouse Brisket, King’s Hawaiian Sweet & Spicy Luau Chicken, and the Big Kahuna sandwiches on the beach. It also includes the return flight home, with no overnight stay or additional stops.
How dare you, Arby’s! At least spring for one night so people have their Arby’s shame bathroom experience in peace. Also, Arby’s claims they will fly you first class, but let’s be real it’s probably on Spirit, so you’ll have a first class view of a panty-less twerker getting kicked off. Nothing makes me more sad than the idea of having Arby’s meat sweats while on a 12 hour flight to eat a $6 dollar sandwich.
Also Arby’s patrons are the most intense of all the fast food chains. Arby’s is the Insane Clown Posse of fast food, making Arby’s fans the Juggalos of fast food. And Juggalos love hard. Which makes me nervous, because Arby’s came up with the brilliant idea of giving their $6 vacations away on a first come first serve basis.
Beginning on April 12, 2019 at 12 p.m. ET, you will be able to purchase the $6 tickets. Only five will be available that day, and it’s a first-come, first-served situation, so you better be ready to work quickly! Then, on April 15, 2019, the second offer period begins at the same time, with the same stipulations.
What I wouldn’t give to see the fights that break out on these two days. It’s going to be worse than a Walmart on Black Friday with one TV left.
What did I expect from a company whose slogan is: “Arbys. We got the Meats” Every time I hear that slogan I get an instant stomachache and picture people sweating out meat juice. I have never understood the Arby’s appeal but I am married to someone who will literally drive from Massachusetts to New Hampshire to eat it, so I know it’s a thing.
That said, good luck to everyone participating: may your sandwich be hot, flights be short, and your diarrhea be even shorter!