Jackée Harry Says That She Once Caught Eartha Kitt’s Hands Over A Man

April 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Twitter is at turns a cesspool of shitty ideas, the fetid corpse of civility, and a piping hot glass of rancid rancor. But every once in a while, it proves its worth to society by allowing us unprecedented freedom of expression. And by “us” I mean Jackée Harry and Jackée Harry only. We don’t need to hear from anybody else at this time. This week, one of those Twitter prompts was making the rounds that asked “what’s your most surreal celebrity encounter”? Leave it to Jackée to blow everybody’s wig to Kingdom Come by revealing that Eartha Kitt once slapped the shit out of her over a man. I tell you, I read that and needed resuscitation. It gave me the vapors and sympathetic diarrhea. Frankly, I am still trembling and just spilled my tincture of dilaudid all over myself.

Here’s what happens when Twitter goes from dumpster-fire to life-giving elixir in just under 30 characters:

I mean, we spend our days imagining the secret lives of divas, never really knowing where the mystique and fantasy ends. In my mind, Eartha Kitt absolutely went around sharpening her claws on the faces of her enemies. I don’t want to think of the reality of Eartha Kitt at the end of a long day, taking her wig off and soaking her bunions. But to have another diva confirm my imaginary diva was as magically pernicious in real life as she is in my mind, is really something special. And it only got better from there when Jackée added a little more color to the tale.

Jackée has not let us know who this extraordinary man was, and I hope she never does. And Eartha Kitt died in 2008 and the best thing about Heaven is there’s no Twitter (#blessed). So let this man’s legacy be this earthly tweet alone. What if it turned out to be Jack Nicholson or somebody? No thanks. I’d rather keep his real identity a mystery, and never have to picture the man who curled both Eartha Kitt and Jackée’s toes, taking off his wig and soaking his corns.

Pic: Instragram

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