Open Post And Site Announcement: Hosted By A Woman Proving That You Should Never Throw An Axe At The Floor

April 8, 2019 / Posted by:

But before we get into this almost disaster, I let you all know a bit ago that two of our weekday foolery producers, Ben and C.J., were no longer able to produce the foolery on the regular during the week. Yes, when they told me that, I acted out the “DON’T LEAVE! scene in The Color Purple when Mister kicks out Celie’s sister. They haven’t left for good, though, and will fill in here and there. So because I need help with serving up the messiness, I’ve brought on two new writers. Deirdre and Harry isn’t only the almost-name of my favorite 80s daytime talk show that never was, starring Deidre Hall and Harry Hamlin. Deirdre and Harry are also the names of Dlisted’s newest writers. “Michael, you made them writers because of their glamorous names” is probably what you’re thinking, and you’re half right. I also asked them to be writers because they call Phoebe Price their lord and savior.

Please welcome Deirdre and Harry, who starting today, will join Mieka, Kristian, and I (and later Allison when she comes back from not sleeping while taking care of a newborn) during the week. Please be gentle with them as they settle into this mess of a site. And now, here’s a video from @camdhuber of a woman who goes by @ainsrae on Instagram doing a performance art piece of me thinking I nailed a post, only to have it flop and cause me to duck from all of the hate comments. If axe throwing was an Olympic sport, this woman would obviously be the Michael Phelps of it.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

That axe almost got me ??? . . . Thanks @camdhuber for capturing this… so glad it missed you!

A post shared by ainsrae (@ainsrae) on

She throws almost as bad as a Fox News host. Talk about getting assed axed out!

It’s a good thing that she’s better at ducking than she is at axe throwing, because it would be awful to be sitting in a crowded ER waiting room with an axe stuck on your fucking face. I say “sitting in a crowded ER waiting room“, because the ER front desk nurse would probably shake their head at you and tell your messy ass you need to wait with the other non-emergencies after you let her know how that axe got into your head.

Pic: Instagram

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