Lauren Sanchez Filed For Divorce The Day After Jeff Bezos’ Divorce Was Finalized

April 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Alleged Amazon mistress Lauren Sanchez isn’t one to lay down on the job (*rimshot*). And that’s not slut-shaming, that’s goddamn admiration! TMZ reports that Lauren Sanchez filed for divorce from her husband of 13 years, Hollywood mega-agent Patrick Whitesell, just one day after the divorce of her boyfriend, Amazon kajillionaire Jeff Bezos and Mackenzie Bezos was finalized. Well, everyone involved didn’t get where they are in life by dawdling now, did they?

Much like Jeff and Mac’s divorce proceedings, it looks like Lauren and Patrick hammered out the details ahead of filing so everyone can keep hold of as much money as possible. Nothing brings out cooperation amongst rich people like realizing it’s beneficial for everyone to stay as rich as possible.

Her divorce petition was accompanied by Patrick’s response, and the two documents are exact mirrors of each other.

They both are asking for joint custody of their 2 children – 11-year-old Eleanor and 12-year-old Evan. Neither is asking for child or spousal support.

And get this, these two didn’t have a prenup, either! And they didn’t use lawyers!

Patrick is head of Endeavor, which is the parent company of the William Morris talent agency, and worth $440 million according to Business Insider. “Pffft, chump change,” thought Jeff Bezos.

So, did he just leave her a $220 million check on the nightstand and call it a day, praying she wouldn’t make a play for more? Or are the super-rich so super-rich that losing a couple hundred million doesn’t hurt that much? Nope, this is all because Hollywood superstar divorce maven Laura Wasser reffed this game.

Wasser is friends with both. The fact they filed without a lawyer and at the same time is a clear signal — Wasser mediated the divorce and all the issues are now settled. All that’s left is waiting the 6 months it takes for the divorce to become final.

Lauren Sanchez and Patrick Whitesell have been married for 13 years, but she’s reportedly been dating Jeff since last summer. Lauren and Jeff met 10 years ago via Patrick Whitesell. Bet he’s regretting that particular cocktail party. Dick pics and sexts brought to light via an alleged National Enquirer blackmail scam on behalf of either the Saudis, the MAGA crowd, or temporary stupidity due to vagine-imazation on Jeff’s part blew this situation wide open back in January.

The takeaway from this story is that Lauren leaves a vapor trail behind her when she sets her mind to get what she wants. Melinda Gates, watch your man! Lauren might decide that bald isn’t beautiful anymore, girl!


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