Prince Harry Shakes Cane, Thinks “Fortnite” Should Be Banned

April 5, 2019 / Posted by:

I can’t believe how quickly Prince Harry went from rebellious ginger stud to stodgy fuddy-duddy. Why it seem like just yesterday Harry was being adored for his pasty white body, and not the content of his character. But that Prince is officially dead. These days, Harry’s got IMPORTANT ISSUES to discuss. Like whether or not video games should be banned, specifically Fortnite, for ruining children’s lives and tearing families apart.

According to the BBC, Harry attended an event at the YMCA of England and Wales (Fun fact: Britain’s version of Village People includes a black cab driver, a chimney sweep, an innkeeper, a bobby, and an unemployed dentist) and “launched a scathing attack on social media and gaming”, which is rich coming from a man who, just this week, broke an Instagram follow record.

Of Fortnite, he said: “That game shouldn’t be allowed. Where is the benefit of having it in your household?

“It’s created to addict, an addiction to keep you in front of a computer for as long as possible. It’s so irresponsible.

“It’s like waiting for the damage to be done and kids turning up on your doorsteps and families being broken down.”

He added that social media was “more addictive than alcohol and drugs”

Damn, kids showing up on my doorstep really is a sobering thought. But it seems weird to me that Fortnite is being singled out here, because my understanding of the game is that it’s pretty banal. I asked my husband to explain it to me and he said you basically “go around looking for shit”. Why in my day (Harry isn’t the only one who’s turned into an old crank), we worried about kids running around shooting hookers in the face. But as the BBC points out, it’s Fortnite’s popularity, not its content, that has old people worried. According to his Insta, Harry was there to promote mental health awareness, so his issues with Fortnite, and addiction in general, make a bit more sense in that context.


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Today The Duke of Sussex met with families, children and young adults at @Ymcaenglandandwales in South Ealing as a continuation of his dedicated work in the mental health space. “There continues to be huge progress in smashing the stigma that surrounds mental health, but let’s keep normalising the conversation. Let’s keep reminding each other that it’s okay to not be okay, and to listen to each other. After all, how we think determines how we act, how we feel, and how we treat ourselves and those around us.” -The Duke of Sussex. It takes courage, strength and honesty, but talking through your mental health issues often becomes the key to dealing with them. Just like physical exercise, which we all know is good for us; we have to care for our minds as much as we do for our bodies. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives. It is a part of all of us. Have an unashamed conversation on how you feel, be empowered to share your story and you will see you are not alone. For more information visit @heads_together.⁣ – ?Royal Communications / PA

A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal) on

However, he should know that the fastest way to get a kid to kick you in the shins, is to threaten to take away their video games. You can’t be “cool Prince who is down” and “tsking adult who can’t do the backpack kid dance”, simultaneously. Trust me, I have tried. But I suppose Harry’s days of trying to be cool ended the day he hung up his Nazi uniform for good.


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