Lindsay Lohan Seems Pissed Over Lea Michele Playing Ariel In The Hollywood Bowl’s “The Little Mermaid”

April 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan has a new arch-nemesis to deal with, besides Paris Hilton and dignity. Lindsay has her vengeful eyes set on one person at the moment and her name is Lea Michele. Why is Lindsay so mad? Did Lea also open up a beach club where drunk euro trash can have sex in the bathroom high off MDMA? No, but close. Lea stole an acting role from Lindsay, the one she was born for! Ariel in The Little Mermaid. A role where Lindsay wouldn’t have to deliver any lines or walk much? It’s perfect!

You may remember Lea Michele from Glee, but personally I think her most famous role was: Girl Publicly Ignored By Jessica Lange. Well, Lea is trying to bump that down to #2 on her resume, because she’s playing Ariel in the Hollywood Bowl’s 30th anniversary concert of The Little Mermaid next month. The rest of the cast includes Harvey Fierstein as Ursula, Ken Page as Sebastian, Peter Gallagher as King Triton and Leo Gallo as Prince Eric.

This is a shock to Lindsay, who has been gunning for the role for some time. Metro UK reports that when Disney’s Princesses Instagram account posted info about casting of Lea as Ariel, Lindsay was ready to comment.

“Huh?” was all Lindsay could muster. But in those three little letters and one question mark her shock is palpable. It should be she who runs a fork through her hair. She whose wide-eyed emotion replaces verbal interaction. The problem is: this isn’t the casting of the movie The Little Mermaid, but a live show as part of a 30th anniversary concert at the Hollywood Bowl in May. And some people let Lindsay know that she was jumping the gun with her shade:

“Chill boo, this is not the live action cast… you still got a chance.”

Um… have you seen the trailer for her werewolf political thriller? No ma’am: she does not have a chance. I was kidding before–the only role perfect for Lindsay is one where the character is an unrealistic human-imitating fembot.

So far there has been no real updates on The Little Mermaid live-action which Disney is planning except that Rob Marshall will probably direct it and Lin-Manuel Miranda will probably produce and do the music. So Lindsay is getting angry at Lea Michele for no reason. Lea’s going to come back from her honeymoon and find two packages on her lawn. She’ll open one to find rotting dead fish inside and then open the other to find a note reading:

“Oops! Lol! Hope you opened this package first! Don’t open that box if you haven’t, there are dead fish inside. If you have: I’m sorry! Total misunderstanding! xox Lindsay”

But I’m with Lindsay. She proved with a new photo shoot that she’s destined for a role in The Little Mermaid but the role she’s destined for is Ursula (or the rotten seaweed baby of Ursula and either Flotsam or Jetsam).


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Cinematic! Wearing @ysl by @anthonyvaccarello ? @slimimag – By @urivaldolopes Styling @slimi7 Makeup/ Hair @ania.poniatowska

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