Today is reporting that new allegations are emerging surrounding a rather old moment in our cultural history. It was the year 2003 and magical gay German duo of pure flamboyance, Siegfried & Roy, were at the top of the world. Their Vegas show featuring a plethora of deadly white lions and caucasian tigers was killing it money-wise ever since they opened in 1990. People would come from far and wide to watch those two dudes play with their huge pussies. But then it happened. Disaster struck that fateful day in 2003 and Roy was attacked by one of the white tigers, known as Montecore.
The attack ended their pussy-playing careers. The attack was investigated, with the main narrative being pushed by Roy that he suffered a stroke and Montecore tried to save him by biting him in the neck, dragging him off stage and causing critical blood loss. Well now we have a former trainer of theirs who’s saying it was all a big cover up! There was no stroke caused by the glitter in Siegfried’s sparkly white tiger-print blazer.
Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn are liars! So says, Chris Lawrence a former trainer of theirs who helped that same night on October 3rd, 2003 when Roy was attacked by Montecore. Chris started as a cleaner for the duo, which can only mean he shoveled tiger and lion shit all day. He eventually became one of the trainers and worked with the Bengal tigers. Chris was there that night when Roy was attacked and he says that there was no stroke, Roy just agitated Montecore:
“The point I realized that things were kind of going sideways was when Roy turned Mantacore around, and he ended up with his face in Roy’s midsection.”
Girl, I don’t need a tiger facing my midsection, topsection, bottomsection, halfsection, anysection. Leave that shit where it belongs: in the plains chomping on gazelle.
According to Chris, Roy was neglecting his animal handling duties before the show and made mistakes which caused the attack:
“I think Roy became uncomfortable. I think his actions in trying to save the routine and rectify the situation actually ended up complicating it.”
Chris tried to pull the tiger off Roy but it was a 700-pound tiger and he is a human man, so it didn’t work. He was also worried that Montecore might not like the taste of Roy and would turn to him:
“I remember vividly thinking, ‘Here he comes.’ There’s no telling me it wasn’t coming for me.”
Chris isn’t here for a check, he says he’s bringing this up to talk about PTSD and the difficulty in finding proper treatment for it, because after seeing a man get mauled by a tiger, he is post-traumatically stressed. Which isn’t shocking since he describes Roy’s attack like this:
“At that point, Roy was silent. His eyes were closed. He was just still.”
I’m sure seeing my lifeless boss being dragged away by a vicious feline would be totally horrifying. Luckily for me Michael doesn’t mess with pussy or like to hop into cat enclosures.
Pic: NBC News