The new book about all the secret goings-on behind the scenes of The Hen House, aka The View–Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of The View–is revealing more behind-the-scenes messiness. Nothing as messy and exciting as Kathy Griffin explaining Barbara Walters favorite kind of lubricant, but it’s close-ish. This new dingleberry of info is that Rosie O’Donnell had a crush on her alleged arch-nemesis, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. That has made Elisabeth get on her knees…and pray for Rosie’s sinful lesbian soul!
Variety is reporting that the public feud we saw on screen in Season 10 of The View between Elisabeth and Rosie was not just an uber-conservative and a liberal fighting over their ideologies, it actually had a whole other layer of emotions and subtext. Their constant back-and-forth came to a boiling point in May 2007 when Rosie and Elisabeth got into that blowout over the Iraq War. If you forgot it, here it is:
While we all saw that and were like: “Okay these two hens hate each other, keep their eggs separate from one another, eh?”, apparently it wasn’t really hatred. In the book, Rosie says “I loved her”. Rosie saw Elisabeth as a fresh little chickie in the hen house; someone Rosie needed to help and guide:
“Here’s what I said, ‘I’m the senior. She’s the freshman. I’ve got a really good player on the freshman team, but I have to teach her how to loosen up.'”
Joy Behar speculated that Rosie was actually into Elisabeth, and Rosie confirmed as much in the book, suggesting that Elisabeth was also feeling the lady-love vibrations:
“I think there were underlying lesbian undertones on both parts… I think this is something that will hurt her if you write it. She was the MVP of a Division 1 softball team for two years that won the finals. There are not many, in my life, girls with such athletic talent on sports teams that are traditionally male that aren’t at least a little bit gay.”
Okay, I agree. No heterosexual woman plays softball competitively; it’s against the law.
Rosie continues by saying her crush was still about guiding Elisabeth and never got sexy:
“But not that I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to support, raise, elevate her, like she was the freshman star shortstop and I was the captain of the team… I was going to Scottie Pippen her. If I was Jordan, I was going to give her and the ball and let her shoot. But it was in no way sexualized.”
More sports metaphors? We get it, Rosie, you’re a lesbian.
The romance ended after that dramatic blowup, though. Rosie was just too hurt that Elisabeth wouldn’t defend her from conservative critics:
“It felt like a lover breaking up… The fight that we had, to me as a gay woman, it felt like this: ‘You don’t love me as much as I love you.’ ‘I’ve taken care of you.’ ‘You have not.’ ‘How could you do that to me?’ ‘I didn’t do anything to you.'”
After the fight, Elisabeth’s “likability numbers” dropped into the abyss and never came back up. Still, Elisabeth kicked around the show for 6 more years and was finally fired in March 2013, because the show wanted to become less political and Elisabeth was too “polarizing”. Which is why they now have Meghan McCain, much less political and much less polarizing.
As for Elisabeth’s reaction, she said that not all women who play softball are huge lesbos, and she also said that she’s praying for Rosie’s poisonous soul, although she didn’t really use those words:
“I can handle that with the grace of God because I need grace and I need forgiveness. So Rosie, I think it was disturbing to read those things and it was offensive to me, but I forgive her. I totally forgive you, Rosie… I really hope that we can be at peace and that we can… both hold our beliefs in one hand and hold each other’s hand in the other and still have a relationship that’s at peace… But, more than that, just like I would pray for my friends, I hope that she has the peace of God.”
Well Rosie, looks like you better look up to the sky and ask God why he made your heart twitch at the thought of Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Really, Elisabeth Hasselbeck?! Elisabeth forgives you for it, but I sure don’t. I never needed to know this. Now I need to look to God and ask him to take this memory from me. Erase it! Please God! Give me peace!