If you just bought a wig made out of splintered straw, a thick black runny marker for your eyes, toothpicks to keep your eyelids open, and a black turtleneck, then I’m going to assume two things. 1. You watched HBO’s The Inventor. And 2. You’re getting a really early jumpstart on Halloween by putting your Elizabeth Holmes costume together.
Elizabeth Holmes is that fallen fauxllionaire who scammed people into thinking she invented Post-Its. Oh wait, no, that’s another deep-voiced lying business woman (no offense to Romy White). Elizabeth Holmes is the Stanford dropout who got some of the country’s richest and most powerful pepaws to invest millions into some $35-printer-from-Staples looking ass machine that was supposed to run up to 200 tests with just one drop of blood. I bet if you put a drop of Elizabeth’s blood in there, it’ll tell you that it’s 100% snake oil. Actually, no it wouldn’t, because that would mean the machine worked, and we all know it didn’t.
STAINS’ shifty human cousin and her company, Theranos, lied about a lot of shit like being able to run 200 tests from one drop of blood, her Husky being a wolf, and some say she faked her Romy voice too. But Elizabeth’s family has used TMZ to defend her against the fake voice truthers, because the sound of her voice is what really matters here. And oh yes, they also defend her against the whole “defrauding investors and putting people’s health at risk” thing.
In The Inventor, many of the people interviewed talked about what an engaging and magnetic figure she was, and it was easy to see how she got these powerful people to believe in her magical blood-reading box. I mean, really, her?! I haven’t been in the presence of Elizabeth Holmes, but I didn’t get “engaging and magnetic” at all. She looks like the type who loves to tell a worker that she wants to speak to their manager, and if she said that to me, I’d say, “No. They’re on a break.” But her voice is part of what made her stand out, and one of her professors at Stanford (who was the breakout star of The Inventor, honestly) as well as several co-workers claim her deep voice is fake and she’d reveal her true and more high-pitched voice every now and again. They say Elizabeth deepened her voice because she thought she’d be taken more seriously as a serious inventor. Here’s a video that claims to reveal the fakery:
Elizabeth’s family tell TMZ this about the fake voice accusations:
Elizabeth’s family members tell us her voice is naturally low. We’re told most people in the fam have low voices, including her grandmother, and Elizabeth will occasionally change her pitch to a higher octave — especially when she gets excited or passionate.
As for Elizabeth’s fraudulent business practice … her family tells us they’re standing behind her and remaining supportive.
Elizabeth and her ex-business partner/man Ramesh “Sunny” Balwan were indicted on fraud charges and are facing 20 years in the clink. They pleaded not guilty and no trial date has been set.
So wait… some ay that Elizabeth deepens her voice and it helped to get her hundreds of millions of dollars in investment money. But when I deepen my voice, all I get is a Jack In The Box drive-thru employee laughing at me because they can tell I’m butching it up so they won’t call me “mam” again.