Hot Slut Of The Day!
Life Savers Creme Savers!
March 13, 2019 was the day I discovered that I can not just strut into any old Rite-Aid to buy a bag of Life Savers that a sugar elf jizzed all over while twirling in a circle. It seems like Creme Savers aren’t as easy to get as they used to. And although there’s some fraudulent versions out there, I’m sure it’s not the same and when you put one in your mouth, you channel Jodie Foster in Sommersby by screaming, “You are not my husband Life Savers Creme Savers!”
Wrigley says on their site that Creme Savers were introduced to mouths in 1988 (but other sources claim they came out in 1998). Creme Savers were a drop of swirly elegance, and was the uppity, Buick Regal-driving, Talbots-wearing upper middle-class cousin of Life Savers. It regularly had a two-Chardonnay lunch with its girlfriend before getting afternoon manicures on a weekday. It was casual yet decadent, like a Chico’s pantsuit, which it wore during that two-Chardonnay lunch, of course. It was also the Barbie crotch of Life Savers, because it didn’t have a hole.
Creme Savers came in several flavors including strawberry, orange, and chocolate. It was pretty much a Life Saver with a creme swirl. A creme-pied Life Saver if you will. And the Creme Savers jingle was done in Lion King-style for some reason…
The packaging of Creme Savers changed some time in the early-aughts, and some claim they’ve seen them in stores recently. You can also get them on eBay, and some shady-looking sites (and this is coming from someone who owns a shady-looking site) also claim they sell them. So Wrigleys might have not completely gotten rid of Creme Savers. Creme Savers might just be taking a long, luxurious break and needs some time to relax before getting back out there. That is such a Creme Savers thing to do.
Pic: Wrigley