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The Where’s The Beef? board game from the 80s!

Long before the coochie of Shia LaBeouf’s piece of the moment asked, “Where’s the beef?“, when he’d stick it all the way in, it was a catchphrase that took over the 1980s. Anyone who didn’t fall asleep during American history class knows that “Where’s the Beef?” was first spit out by actress Clara Peller in a Wendy’s commercial in 1984. The line was subtle skinny-shaming shade directed at Wendy’s rivals like McDonald’s for serving sad slabs of scrawny burger meat. I always thought the campaign ran for decades, but it only lasted until 1985, and Clara moved on to get coins from Prego where she starred in a commercial that featured her saying, “I found it. I really found it.” She died in 1987.

“Where’s the beef?” took over the mid-80s, and there were t-shirts, mugs, and an extra small condom line (I made that up, sadly). And because everything big in the 80s became a board game, it was a board game.

The Where’s The Beef? board game was put out by Milton Bradley in 1984. Board Game Geek says that the board was a Wendy’s restaurant and you’d take turns moving through that bitch. When you came across a tile, you’d look at it without letting anyone else see it. Sometimes the tile had an action on it and other times it had a food item, including BEEF. The goal was to memorize where all the beef tiles were on the board. If you were the first player to correctly find all the beef tiles, you won the game!

• Milton Bradley and Wendy’s obviously rushed that mess, and had an intern throw it together on their lunch break (and I bet they didn’t even eat Wendy’s on that lunch break) using old Milton Bradley pieces and boards. But I still want to find an old one on eBay and play it, because I’ve got a greater chance of being able to scream, “I got the beef!”, while playing that than trolling Grindr all day.

Pic: Board Game Geek