Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Mayor Lincoln of Fair Haven, Vermont!

There’s been a pussy mayor, dog mayors, and even a turkey mayor (no, I’m not talking about Bill de Blasio), and now one lucky town in Vermont gets to call a goat their maaaaaaaaaaaay-or. Seen above greeting her constituents with a “Haaaaaaay, gurrrl!“, Lincoln the goat has been voted in by the people of Fair Haven, Vermont and will be their ruler for a year starting on Tuesday. While it’s goatophobic to give Lincoln only a year term when humans get much longer, I am for it, because this means she’ll be free for 2020!

Joseph Gunter, the town manager of Fair Haven, tells the Rutland Herald that they got the idea to run a special mayoral election (they don’t have a human mayor) after reading about how a town in Michigan did the same thing to raise money for shit they needed. So he reached out to a local school, and gave students an opportunity to submit their pet as a mayoral candidate. Their parents just had to pay a $5 entry fee and the money went to developing the school’s playground. Only $100 was raised, but Joseph says that it was still worth it since kids got introduced to government stuff.

“It turned into a good civics lesson,” Gunter said. “Get the kids involved in town government. (I) thought this was a great way to break the ice with the kids.”

The 3-year-old Nubian goat was up against a bunch of dogs and cats, and one gerbil. Lincoln took them all down with 13 votes, barely beating out Sammie the Dog, who got 11 votes. Lincoln’s duties as mayor include showing up to events and wearing a sash while marching in the town’s Memorial Day parade.

Once Mayor Lincoln gets that political experience, which will be a lot more than Trump had before taking office, she will be ready to run in 2020 through the Baaaaad Bitch Party. She’ll easily beat Trump in the debates by producing more insightful and powerful takes when she drops a turd after eating part of the moderator’s blazer. So 2020 belongs to her, and she’ll become the greatest president in history named Lincoln!

Pic: AP

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