Taylor Swift Wrote An Article For “Elle” About The Thirty Things She’s Learned In Thirty Years

March 6, 2019 / Posted by:

A crazy thing happens when you turn the big 3-0;  you start reflecting on the madness of your twenties because you think “Damn, thirty is old”. Newsflash; it isn’t. However, Taylor Swift‘s impending thirtieth trip around the sun has caused her to offer up some sparkly jewels from her life filled with heartache and beautiful gowns. And she’s using Elle as her temporary diary to let everyone know what she’s learned up until this point. She talked about turning off her Instagram comments and how her rock bottom was everyone calling her a snake after Kim Kartrashian exposed her.

I would like to say the tone of this article, 30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30, gets about as deep as Taylor can without revealing too much like “All the men I dealt with were scum so I’ma do better in my 30’s” Newsflash; You probably won’t. However it was nice for her to come through sounding like how I’m assuming Gwyneth Paltrow did before she became the Ambassador of Blandness when she invented GOOP. It’s equal parts “Duh!” mixed with “Oh, Ok” but ultimately it’s long as fuck so allow me to break a few portions down for you. For starters, Taylor stopped allowing comments on her social media pages because she got tired of people either praising her or praying she got run over by a bus.

Yes, I keep comments off on my posts. That way, I’m showing my friends and fans updates on my life, but I’m training my brain to not need the validation of someone telling me that I look ???. I’m also blocking out anyone who might feel the need to tell me to “go die in a hole ho” while I’m having my coffee at nine in the morning. I think it’s healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. An actual comment I received once.

Stop laughing at Taylor’s pain. Just kidding, I laughed at that shit as well. Seriously though, Taylor really stripped down to the barest pieces of her soul, including ways to eliminate drama from her life.

Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn’t cruel.

I’m going to assume that’s a lesson she learned in reverse as she probably was the one whose number was blocked.

Taylor wanted to also address bullying by referencing the time Kim Kardashian and her equally level-headed husband Kanye West came for her by exposing her as a liar. The lesson here, however, wasn’t to rise above with maturity. Because if you challenge her to a game of Who’s The Pettiest? she will rise to the occasion every time.

A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with “lol.” It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it.

My takeaway from this article is that Taylor will still be acting like she’s in her twenties for the next few years. Then again, this is the type of introspective rhetoric you’d get from the girl who sang We Are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together. It’s like self-help for sorority girls and Taylor is their Ghandi.

Pic: Elle


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