The Actual Ariana Grande Latte Is Here (Kinda)

March 5, 2019 / Posted by:

I never thought I’d long for the days when shameless pop princess product plugging was limited to Plenty of Fish showing up in every damn music video or Britney Spears spritzing on her own perfume line anytime a camera rolled. Alas, this is 2019, and these chanteuses have to find some way to follow in the self-made (COUGH) footsteps of Kylie Jenner. Probably because she was tired of hearing Michael K call her Ariana Grande Latte, Ariana Grande is now partnering with Starbucks to offer an Ariana Grande La—only kidding. That’d be too easy. She and Starbucks are promoting the new Cloud Macchiato because Ari likes to use the cloud emoji so much. Starbucks, just give me a call when you want to collab on the eggplant macchiato!

Business Insider says the Cloud Macchiato is just like a regular macchiato only the cloud foam is “an airy microfoam frothed cold and blended until smooth, creating layers of creamy texture and flavor, without the cream.” That makes sense, as I wanted my brains to be frothed cold and blended until smooth for the duration of Ariana’s engagement to Pete Davidson. Ari is already on Twitter earning that check:

Starbucks, in turn, will play an Ariana playlist at stores on Saturday as well as on International Women’s Day this Friday. Ari’s not stopping with coffee, either. She also launched a Cloud perfume in February, and I’m sure this will end with her also trying to pull a Kylie and trademark the term cloud for her own use. I’m sure Kylie Minogue or God (they’re interchangeable) will slap down this trademark just like She did (what? Ari says God is a woman) the last time around.

Pic: Twitter

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