When I heard that Halle Berry might have gotten a “massive” (as Page Six called it) tattoo on her back, I said to myself Lord, Jesus someone please go perform a welfare check on her to make sure she’s not going the way of The Affleck. Like Ben, Halle’s had some ups and downs and does not have the greatest record when it comes to impulse control. But when I saw the picture Halle posted on Instagram of her new back art, I breathed a sigh of relief. It’s not so bad.
Since the only caption on the photo is “Who says I’m not a mermaid [mermaid emoji]”, we can’t be sure it’s real. It could be for a movie, or simply the result of a little light Monday morning stunting (Halle’s not above it). But it looks real to me.
The only thing fake looking in this picture is her spotless kitchen. I see not a single solitary smudge. Halle is definitely cooking an air omelet there, and doesn’t seem to have a clue how to “open” that egg. But the tattoo seems very in keeping with Halle’s current aesthetic, which if I’m going by her Insta feed is, “Golden Nature Keto Fitness Queen” with a side of “Pseudo Spiritual Best Life Liver”. That is definitely the kind of tattoo this woman would get.
I mean the vine is right there behind her! Page Six thinks Halle’s tattoo looks a lot like the new one Lady Gaga recently got, which is a rose on her spine and the words “la vie en rose” trickling down her back. But I don’t see it.
Gaga’s definitely has more of an “Edith Piaf Can Suck My Oscar’s Dick” vibe.