Us Weekly is saying that things got real over in family court yesterday in NYC as Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York City and her ex-husband Jason Hoppy met in a courtroom to fight about child custody. They currently have a joint custody agreement, but Bethenny–once again–wants to take a lighter to that piece of paper and get a new one drafted where she has sole custody of 8-year-old daughter Bryn. Why should Bethenny get custody? Because Jason is a mean, derogatory, rough asshole who locks dogs in closets! I can excuse being an asshole father, but dog abuse? YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!
Bethenny and Jason were married from March 2010 to December 2012 but after a contentious divorce they only were officially broken up in July 2016. On Monday they let their lawyers do the talking at court and what they had to say was not great. Bethenny’s started things off with some dramatic and ominous introductions:
“Why are we doing this? To protect the child… The father’s behavior before and after their marriage is extremely harmful to Bryn. His abusive behavior towards her not only damages her relationship with her mother, but to everyone else in her life.”
So how is Jason an abusive asshole? Don’t worry, the lawyer got into that too:
“[He was] physically pulling the child away from Ms. Frankel, leaving negative articles out about Ms. Frankel, [and] doesn’t flush the toilet…[He] locked up Cookie [Frankel’s late dog], in a storage closet and wouldn’t reveal her whereabouts for hours.”
On top of pulling on his kid like a ragdoll and locking an innocent dog in a closet, this man doesn’t flush? Do they mean when he goes number 1 or number 2? Because that’s the difference between him being a gross immature dude and him being a complete demon from Hell.
There was also a text message exchange between the two of them which was read aloud in court. Jason told Bethenny to “think of the example” she set for Bryn, and said that Bethenny was “perceived as a mean girl.” If you’ve ever watched The Real Housewives Of New York, then Bethenny’s reply won’t surprise you:
“Fyi, this ‘mean girl’s’ ratings are way up. And provides for you, bryn, and pays your rent. … You’re welcome to hire a parenting lawyer.”
Then it was Jason’s lawyer’s turn and he didn’t do a great job of defending anything Bethenny’s lawyer alleged about his client, but did a great job of trying to shift focus:
“While Bethenny seems intent on making this trial about her and Jason, and about the alleged issues between the two, this court must instead be guided by what is best for this child… And the evidence will show that Bryn is happy, healthy, smart and well-adjusted.”
I’m sure we can credit Bryn’s well-adjusted lifestyle to whichever nanny/housekeeper has been keeping her sane all this time, but if the judge were to “ThInK oF tHe ChIlDrEn!” then they would sign over custody to Biggy and Smallz Frankel.