Who Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

March 4, 2019 / Posted by:

I know that it hasn’t even been a week since Towel Cat was crowned as January’s Hot Slut of the Month, and yet we’re already looking for the newest HSOTM. Blame it on February being as short as my finances whenever I go to pay my credit card bill every month.

February’s HSOTM showdown is a battle between nostalgia, romance, glamour, and pure friendship. The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for February’s HSOTM are:

The “After These Messages” Singers, the possessed trio of Satanic singers who freaked kids out with their Exorcist head spins and head switches before commercial time on Saturday mornings in the 80s.

Olive Garden’s breadstick bouquet, the symbol of unadulterated romance that Michelin-starred fine Italian restaurant Olive Garden pushed for Valentine’s Day. I bet many assholes fell out on VD at Olive Garden and it wasn’t just from eating the food. It was from people reacting to being presented with a highly romantical breadstick bouquet.

Billy Porter’s Oscar tuxedo gown, the devastating look that caused every little gold man to grow a little gold dick just so he could bust several little gold nuts over this perfection.

Roper and Cricket, the corgi and one-eyed pony from Missouri whose down-low friendship melted hearts.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Monday on March 11!


Pics: ABC, Olive Garden, Wenn.com, The Dodo

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