Most buffets are magical places where you plop down a few bucks, grab a plate and gorge yourself on a variety of items until your belly is so full you play beat the clock with traffic while making your way home to the bathroom. Therefore if you want to overeat as much as you can, you’ve got to cut in front of a bitch to make sure they don’t get to the food before you do. This is exactly what went down last Friday at the Meteor Buffet in Huntsville, Alabama where two diners, John Chapman and Chequita Jenkins, became the only contestants of a one day game show titled Seafood Smackdown when they got into a fight over delicious crab legs.
CBS affiliate WHNT reports that police officer Gerald Johnson had just sat down to enjoy a sumptuous feast of seafood delights when all of a sudden he heard the sound of plates crashing and metal clashing behind him. When he turned to face the ruckus, he saw John and Chequita dueling to the death with tongs while attempting to fill their plates with the fresh batch of crab legs that had just arrived after a long wait. Apparently, the two of them were also the type of customers everyone hates, because they cut in front of the line to rack up on crab legs, which is when I’m assuming their tongs touched and their epic battle began. Unfortunately for the two of them, the grand prize of Seafood Smackdown is, ironically, not crab legs. It’s handcuffs and an all expenses paid trip to jail.
“Everyone was saying, ‘They cut me in line. She cut me in line. He cut me in line. I was here first,'” Johnson said.
Police arrested John Chapman and Chequita Jenkins who was eating at the buffet with her kids.
“They’d been waiting there for the crab legs for a good 10, 20 minutes. When they finally came out, it’s very heated. Especially if someone is taking more than their fair share,” Johnson recounted.
Both John and Chequita admitted afterwards that they let their tempers get the best of them, but who cares? Their fight was totally worth it in the long run. Actually, no it wasn’t because John was charged with disorderly conduct while Chequita, who beat John upside his head leaving a scar, was the true victor with a charge for third-degree assault. And honestly, on Seafood Smackdown everyone loses because aside from the $10.58 entry fee Meteor Buffet charges its guests for a non-confrontational meal, John and Chequita could both potentially end up paying hundreds of dollars in fines for their actions. But the saddest part of this story is that we never find out whether or not they got to enjoy the crab legs they risked it all for. Probably not and they both must have been mad as hell as their respective squad cars pulled off while watching everyone else dine on the spoils of war they fought so valiantly for.