Open Post: Hosted By Jason Momoa’s Fendi Scrunchie

February 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Before Kunty Karl went off to the afterworld where, hopefully for him, there’s no sign of fats, tats, or shorties, he personally created a velvet pink 70s prom look for Panty Creamer Hall of Famer Jason Momoa to wear to the Oscars. But while I’m all for some 70s prom glamour, the real star of Jason’s ensemble was the must-have accessory of every 90s high school girl named Becca. Just in case Jason wanted to put his wild mane up into a man bun to keep his hair from whipping hos in the face as he drops it low on the dance floor, he wore a scrunchie on his wrist. A fucking FENDI scrunchie, thankyouverymuch. Although, it looks more like a discount scrunchie from a Claire’s circa 1995 with a Fendi logo lazily sewed on it (and now everybody’s cousin is going to take a discount scrunchie from Claire’s and lazily sew a Fendi logo onto it).

Jason told the L.A. Times that Karl designed his look around that scrunchie, and that scrunchie stayed on his wrist before and during the show, but it almost came in handy when Ashley Graham tried to dethrone Giuliana Rancic and Ryan Seacrest as the biggest fuckery producer on the red carpet. Ashley was a host on ABC’s Oscars pre-show and she asked Jason to do the Haka dance for her. Jason awkwardly giggled as Lisa Bonet looked like she was about to rip his scrunchie off and use it to shut Ashley’s lips up.

You know you fucked up when Lisa Bonet has to pop out of her stoner haze to shut you down.

That scrunchie eventually made its way into Jason’s mop at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. But a different scrunchie took its place when he changed into another velvet blazer that showed off his luscious tit fur:

And while I’m impressed that Jason had a matching back-up scrunchie, I’m not really going to be impressed until I hear about how Karl also made him a custom Fendi cock scrunchie.


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