Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 22, 2019 / Posted by:

The “hot” Abraham Lincoln statue!

Okay, is the “hot” Baberham Lincoln statue even that hot? It kind of looks more like a young and twinkified Christopher Walken bulging from the eyeballs after accidentally getting some Poppers juice up into his nostrils during a hookup in the sauna at a gym. Okay, maybe it’s thirst worthy after all. But whether or not your nipples get hard for Honest Babe, the twats of Twitter are tingling and will gladly let this statue chop down their cherry tree. Oh wait, wrong president. They’d gladly let Honest Babe up into their Watergate. Oh wait, wrong president again. Okay, they’d gladly let Honest Babe emancipate them panties. Does that work? Just go with it.

Time says that the shirtless Abraham Lincoln statue was sculpted by an art student named¬†James Lee Hansen, who definitely kept books and books of some kinky Lincoln fanfiction hidden under his floor boards. The panty creaming Abe statue made its debut at New York’s World Fair in 1939 after winning an art contest. That same year, it moved to the Los Angeles Federal Building where it’s been making life hell for janitors ever since, because every time someone walks through and lays eyes on it, a gush of heavy crotch cream busts out of them, breaking through their underwear and splattering all over the floor. Maybe that’s why Honest Babe is making those eyes.

Even though, Honest Babe and his swimmer twink bod and wrinkled up bulge have been making pussies and bussies (sorry for that) pop since the 1930s, he finally got his shine on the internet after screenwriter Zack Stentz tweeted about the statue serving up “Calvin Klein underwear ad targeted to the librarian demographic” hotness:

Honest Babe should really get a Calvin Klein chonies campaign now (I mean, if Shawn Mendes can…), or at the very least, People’s Sexiest Man Alive. I know he’s not technically a man that’s alive, but that didn’t stop them from naming alien robot Tom Cruise their Sexiest Man Alive. And there’s something that’s keeping me from declaring Honest Babe as “fap worthy,” and it might have something to do with him making the same “YOU WANT ME TO GET NEAR THAT?!” eyes that a Grindr trick makes after I present my hole to him. Could be that.

Pic: MuseZack

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